John 1:47
“When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.'”
Nathanael spoke his mind without caring who heard him or what they thought. Sometimes people like Nathanael are called, “blunt,” or worse. Jesus could have cast him aside as being too crude to be one of his disciples, but instead Jesus (God) knows Nathanael’s heart and expresses appreciation for his honesty.
Q: When someone speaks a truism in a way that offends, how should a Christian respond?
We are called to be Christlike to others, love first. I think being offended by others could be allowing our flesh “pride” to take control and would reduce our effectiveness as Christians.
I think I would ask God if He wants me to respond at all,..sometimes the best response is no response.
Jesus was certainly able to look past the words themselves. Whether we respond or not, the challenge in being a Christian somehow involves reflecting the light of Christ.
I had to look up the word “truism” to be sure I understood the context of the question. “Truism in a way that offends” would be like someone saying “the apple never falls far from the tree” in reference to one of your children doing something they were not supposed to do. I think I have dealt with these types of comments very regularly in my life. I usually find it comes in three flavors: they really like you and are trying to make a funny connection, they have no feeling either way and just enjoy watching it “bug” you, or they genuinely have an issue with you are are been passive (or not so passive) aggressive with you. There is a “need” to say something back, if only to exclude yourself from being the subject of their comment, but that only usually serves to invoke anger or discontent in you, which in turn really just separates you from the leading of the Holy Spirit.
So how should we deal with someone who speaks a truism in a way that offends?
Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Jesus prayed for His attackers. Luke 23:34a And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
1 Peter 4:13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
We should be mindful of the fruit our spirit bears.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
I notice that the fruits all come together in a “package deal.” It is hard to claim love and forsake kindness, or claim self-control and forsake faithfulness. God put us in this world to make decisions, and when we encounter someone who offend, we have to make the decision to react in love. I have had instances when someone offended me, and I stopped and took 5 seconds to pray about it and then decide in my heart how I would react. On some occasions the other person would look at me (a bit nervously) and ask “are you alright?” I would respond “yes,” and the other person would say something like “oh, I thought you were getting mad.” I then had the opportunity to say “Yes, I was, but I prayed about it, and I am ok now.” That really levels the field and opens the door for a better conversation.
Chris,
Thank you for being faithful with sharing your meditations on John’s gospel. There is a lot of spiritual treasure in what you have to say. Today’s thought might be titled, “A Better Conversation.” Who doesn’t want that?
A better conversation is one where the people conversing are mindful of how their words might be heard. A better conversation is constructive, not destructive. A better conversation moves both speakers closer to God rather than pulling them into deeper darkness.
I also appreciate your comment about the fruits of the Spirit being a “package deal.” That really makes sense. It sounds funny to think about it that way, but I believe you are absolutely right.
Awesome reflection and insights. The Psalms say, “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.” (Psalm 34:13). This is the same word used for Nathan. Whereas honesty and bluntness are something that can be used in both an appropriate and inappropriate context, guile is not acceptable.
The word ‘guile’ (δόλος dólos) means to decoy, to use craft, subtlety, or trickery in order to deceive. So I think Nathan was receiving some pretty high praise from our Lord (not that he would not have had faults to overlook). But it’s a description of what was not present in his speech rather than what was.
It’s not that Nathan was insensitive or blunt, rather that he always ordered his words to not offend or trick. He spoke plainly and openly from an uncritical or hurtful motive. He simply spoke his thoughts in an unleavened manner. Not necessarily intending good or evil. I think this parallels nicely with letting our yes be yes, and our no, no.
Well, yes …
… except when it is not appropriate. Then, no.
🙂