You love those who hate you and hate those who love you.
Today’s passage is a bit odd for a theme verse. Joab, the king’s commander of the army, has just killed Absalom and saved the kingdom for David. Instead of thanks and praise, David rewards him with recriminations. Here is the passage in context:
“Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, ‘Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.’”
— 2 Samuel 19:5-7
For the most part, David lived a noble life. He was courageous before his enemies, and faithful to God, even to the point of respecting the life of the man who was bent on killing him, King Saul. It was only when he had achieved relative peace and had been established as king over Israel that the wheels started to come off.
David stays at home one year while his army goes off to war. Despite having many wives and concubines, he finds himself attracted to a woman by the name of Bathsheba. Scripture is not clear on whether he seduced her or was seduced by her, but the result was a lot of drama and the murder of Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah the Hittite.
Spiritually speaking, nothing in life happens in a vacuum. Even though David confesses his sin and is forgiven, there are still consequences. The prophet Nathan tells David:
“This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”
— 2 Samuel 12: 11-12
And this is exactly what happens. The story of how it happens involves one of David’s own sons, Absalom. The history of Absalom is recorded in chapters 13-18 of 2 Samuel. It is a tragic story involving lust, rape, rejection, murder, and exile. All this is followed by a palace intrigue that allows Absalom to return from exile. Only then do we start to glimpse the evil in Absalom’s heart.
At the end of the story, Absalom has attempted to take the kingdom of Israel away from his father. He nearly succeeds. Everyone sees what Absalom is doing except for David. Even when confronted by the reality of having to flee Jerusalem David is more concerned with saving Absalom’s life than his own.
Scripture does not tell us why David is unable to acknowledge Absalom as a threat. Was the guilt of his sin which started this chain of events? We do not know. What we do know is that David almost lost everything because of his unwillingness to confront reality.
David was responsible for leading God’s people. As a leader, he could not afford to close his eyes to national threats. Yet he did. He could see far away, but he could not see the threat right in front of him.
In one sense, today’s passage describes the plight of humankind. Those who refuse to accept Jesus as Savior and who chase after what the world offers will find they love those who hate them and hate those who love them. Yet even those of us within God’s family are subject to this trap.
Application: Like David, we are subject to hyperopia, the ability to see far away while being blind to what is in front of our nose. We need God’s perfect vision to guide us. Rely on Him.
Food for Thought: What is a clue that we, like David, might be suffering from hyperopia?
I think if we are harboring anger, revenge, bad feelings toward someone in our family or inner circle, we might be “hating those who love us.” Taking an inventory regarding what we think of or our behavior toward those closest to us is never a bad idea. Of course, this evaluation is probably good in all our relationships as we are also called to love even those who really do hate us.
Thank you, Rich.
Great comment. You have given me something to think about!
I ponder whether David was at the point in his life where he is wanting to forgive his children regardless of their many indiscretions.
In the same way, we need Jesus Christ so that the heavenly Father will forgive and overlook our many indiscretions (sins).
It could also be that David sees Absalom’s betrails as God’s means of carrying out the prophesy given to Nathan after David’s sin with Bathsheba, and the sin of murdering one of his mighty men in order to cover up his affair. David and Absalom have many of the same sin issues.
Not sure if I answered the question, or if I found a new rabbit trail.
Happy Monday to you all.
Rob,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I share your interest in pondering what was going through David’s mind!
👍🏻
I have had lots of issues with a family member, the whole family has been having issues with them. I have had talks with the family about the whole thing and even talked to church members ( wise counsel ) about the issues and I have no choice but to always love and forgive this person but trust is a whole different thing. I’ve been taught love forgiveness and grace, but trust has to be earned.