… so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Why would anyone want to submit to God? Mmmm…. because God is the creator of the universe and everything in it? Because when our body dies our spirit remains? Because God is the one who determines whether our spirit is with Him for eternity or tossed into the burning lake of fire? I guess that would be a good reason to submit to God.
And what does God want from us? He wants our love above all else and that we should love others as ourselves. (Matthew 22: 35-40) Oh, and he wants us to “go and make disciples.” (Matthew 28: 16-20)
If a woman who believes in Jesus, is married to a man who doesn’t believe, she has a built-in mission field. Her job, like any believer’s, is to love God above all else, love others as herself, and make disciples. But how? Is nagging her husband into submission going to make him a believer? Probably not. In fact, it will most likely make him resentful. (By the way guys, this is a two-way street!)
Think about how God called you to be a believer. Did he nag you or love you? He loved you, didn’t he? Didn’t he come to you through the love of people or parents? Didn’t he speak to you somehow about forgiveness? God doesn’t badger us into serving him. He loves us into a relationship with him. He loves us so much that he sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to teach us, heal us, and sacrifice himself as payment for our sin.
Whether you are a wife or a husband, if you want to make inroads with a spouse, submitting to them when appropriate is wonderful advice. Peter offers the hope that they (husband or wife) “may be won over without words” by your behavior.
This is a point where I have fallen down in my own marriage. I tried to solve problems with words. What words did I have to offer? Usually, I offered arguments that supported my point of view. And what do arguments lead to? Yes, you’ve got it! More arguments!
When I realized that my words were only getting in the way, I stopped relying on them. Instead, I worked on showing my love for my wife. My relationship with her improved. This fits with Peter’s teaching here. It also fits with Jesus’ teachings and God’s own example toward us. God has demonstrated his love for us through Jesus. Even today, he still reaches out, showing love to both the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matthew 5:45)
I love the advice that Peter offers here. I highly recommend it. No matter what relationship you are in, win the other person over without words. Only then can you begin to have a real conversation.
Application: Apply this truth to a relationship near and dear to you.
Food for Thought: How is purity expressed in a relationship?
The background to the Greek word is one of being ceremonial clean or chaste. The idea is that one is prepared for worship. It refers to being holy, set apart for God’s purposes, sacred, free from defilement. It is the same root word as in 1 Timothy 5: 22, that tells us to be innocent by not sharing in the sins of others.
In the context of 1 Peter, it refers to wives winning over unbelieving husbands by the purity in their lives. In their culture, like ours, pure behavior in relationships was very rare. It was different. It stuck out. It was noticeable. It was holy.
Peter wants the wives to be noticeably different than what was seen in the culture. The husbands would notice, and thus the Lord would be glorified. In our culture, he might well say this to men and women. We should be different than the world. We should avoid the common sins of the world, like pornography, substance abuse, worship of the material, worship of personal pleasure and worship of self.
When we do these things we are pure and undefined. Our works should stand out in such a way that God is glorified and thus attractive to unbelievers. James 1: 27 tells us that true “religion” is one that looks out for widows and orphans (the needy and forgotten) while keeping ourselves from being polluted by the world. The difference is good, noticeable and points to Jesus before we ever say a word. This is still good advice for today. Peter doesn’t say we should not talk, just that the talk should be backed up by the walk. Colossians 4: 5 – 6; Matthew 5: 14 – 16.
(Links added – JE)
Rich,
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts this morning! I especially liked the phrase, “free from defilement.” It is a way of saying that a person is free from the marks of one who chooses to follow the world’s ways. You are right; that sets a person apart. Well said!
How is purity expressed in a relationship?
Purity in the dictionary is defined in as the absence of impurity or contaminants. Which can only be found in our Holy God. If we seek purity we must begin at the feet of God.
1 Peter 1:16, Because it is written, “You shall be holy (set apart), for I am holy.” Leviticus 11:44-45; 19:2; 20:7
We are influenced by our flesh and its habitual pull as we respond to events around us. We are inclined to turn away from God and seek fulfillment of our desires, perceived needs under our own power. We should instead try praising God and asking Him to provide for us in His way, in His timing, if it be in His will. Our walk with Him and others is lighter; as we prefer being with Him over anywhere else, and seek serving others over our own needs and desires.
Matthew 6:33, But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
God’s Holiness is Ever Present, All Powerful, Infinite, Incomparable and we are told by Jesus to make seeking His kingdom and righteousness our first priority.
We have the Holy Spirit to provide understanding and guidance as we seek to apply and live in obedience to the words of Jesus.
In my home we have prayerfully discussed this subject and concluded we are called to live “in our Omnipresent God” rather visualizing Him as this giant disconnected person we call upon as we determine we have a need. In God we serve at His bidding with His power to carry out His will. We have not reached the point of being with Him full time, we are not yet perfectly HOLY, but we have become increasingly aware of when we are in or out of His will, His presence. We live closer to God, in the peace and security only He can provide to those who submit to His will. Our lives are becoming increasingly devoted to spending more time with our Holy Father, brothers and sisters in the Lord, and being alert to opportunities to serve others.
Ron,
I like your comparison between “purity” and being “holy.” That makes a lot of sense to me. You have tied everything back to being in union with our God. What a beautiful place to be!
Because I am a sinner,..or was,..I don’t think I will ever know what purity means or looks like,..other than through the words that have been written in the bible,..I can strive to be pure but sin is always crouching at my back door and to be honest sometimes temptation really looks good to cross the line,..again thankful for the forgiveness of sin,..
I get my wife involved by reading the passage and thoughts from the curator,..then I read my response to her,..it’s nice to hear her response,..
I would say that purity being expressed in a relationship would be being honest with each other,..trusting each other, supporting each other and encouraging each other,..there is probably more to the list but that’s what I have come up with so far,..
John,
That is a GREAT list! Trust is especially important and in my mind underlies all the rest.
Great point Brother,
To me trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Thank you all for sharing your wisdom with me. They are all great points that help me grow spiritually. Keep up the great comments. Thank you Jeff for your blog.
This is my first time on 3 minute bible. I was blessed to be introduced to it last week. The first thing that stuck out to me upon even reading the initial verse is that our actions speak louder than words. It is not only true as a wife ministering to perhaps her unsaved husband, but it is true for us as Christians in general. Thumping people over the head with words from the Bible or condemning them for their actions is no way to win people over to Christ’s love. It’s our actions and loving them as He loves us that speak the loudest.
After becoming a Christian in 2002, I struggled for many years thinking I had to be perfect or have it all together before I could disciple to people. Before I could even come before Christ myself. Needless to say, several years of my Christian walk were miserable. It took me a long time to understand that I didn’t have to be perfect and I didn’t have to have eloquent words to help lead people to Him or speak to them about Jesus. It was my actions that people were watching. In fact, more times than not, it wasn’t the words I spoke but rather the silent action of what I did that spoke to people the most. Sometimes, we become so worried about having the “right words” when what we really need to do is remain quiet and let His light shine through the quiet moments of our actions.
Hi Darla,
Welcome! Thank you for joining. I also thought I had to be perfect to become a christian. Then one day I found out I had to be a sinner, I knew I was qualified and rushed to the head of the line.
Keep walking the walk, the words will come from God as they are needed.
Darla,
Welcome! I’m very glad to have you join us here on the blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. I especially appreciated your point that what we really need to do is, “remain quiet and let His light shine through the quiet moments of our actions.” Well said!
Welcome Darla,..glad you climbed on board,..keep smiling!