… and his ears are attentive to their prayer …
Summary: Like a toy figure is made in the image of man, so is man made in the image of God. God is infinitely more than man can begin to comprehend, and yet he still listens to our prayers.
Did you know that God had ears? I know, that sounds weird, doesn’t it? One of the things that is hard to get our heads around is that we are made in the image of God, but we don’t know what God looks like.
A few years ago I was given an award. It was a trophy with a figure at the top. The figure was a tiny person about four inches high. At least it looked like a person. I could see that it had two arms and two legs. There were hands and feet at the appropriate places and what looked like a head on top. The head seemed complete with eyes, ears, a nose, and a mouth.
For all its detail, the little figure could only stand there staring out into space. It didn’t look around or move in any way. It couldn’t hear or see, nor could it say anything. It was, after all, just an image of a real person.
Like the figure on the top of the trophy was made in our image, we are made in the image of God. We are not God. We do not hear or see as God does. Our thoughts are not His thoughts, neither are our ways his ways. (Isaiah 55: 8-9) Instead, we are made in his image.
In a sense, you might think of us as the toys in a toyshop. The toymaker has left the room, and all of us little wooden toys start talking and arguing and fighting. Each of us claims to be the smartest and know all about how we came to be. It is kind of funny to think about, isn’t it? Yet that is pretty close to the situation we find ourselves in. We are made in God’s image. We are not God.
We can “hear” with our ears, but that doesn’t mean we understand. If we do understand, we realize that we are very limited in our understanding. But God is not limited. Our Maker has told us about himself. He has sent his Son, Jesus to redeem us from death (eternal separation from God death). Jesus, in turn, has given us God’s own Holy Spirit, to abide in us, teach us, and guide us. And when we talk…
… God’s ears are attentive to our prayers!
Application: Think about what it means that God listens to us when we pray!
Food for Thought: What do the righteous pray for?
For his glory.
What do the righteous pray for?
The righteous pray for Gods forgiveness of our daily sins and for Gods deliverance from our flesh, this world and the powers of evil. We ask for His power in our lives so we can be used by Him as effective instruments to do His will on earth.
That’s Gnostic talk. We pray for deliverance OF our flesh and the world FROM the powers of evil. Our flesh is to be resurrected, repaired and glorified, not escaped.
I like Tim’s answer. I would add for His will to be done. The Lord’s Prayer has much that Jesus wants the righteous to pray. This includes His will to be done, for forgiveness and to forgive, for God to be acknowledged as holy, for His kingdom to come, etc.
To understand God’s will
We may never understand his will. I’m a servant how am I supposed to understand my Lords will when I can’t understand the concept of life. I just pray that I can do things that makes him smile and say well done.
Tim, I believe you make Him smile a lot… and I think you will hear what you desire. Matthew 25: 21, 23.
And like toys, we are all expendable objects created for God’s amusement. We are given the illusion of self-control while our springs are wound up and released, and then we freely move forward to wherever we were pointed. Then, when the time to play is over, some of us will be thrown into the fireplace, and some of us will be put on a shelf to be admired forever for God’s craftmanship, never to be played with again.
Those who go into the fire were created for it, “vessels of wrath,” to make a display of, each one built, wound up and then set to go forth, freely rolling into the fire if not chosen to be saved.
I hope some day I’ll be at peace with this.
Gordon,
Thank you for your comment. You conclude with hoping that someday you can be “at peace” with the view you espouse. My hope for you is that you are able to discover a different view of the facts that allow you to be at peace with a loving God.
The “vessels of wrath” passage is from Romans, chapter 9. The quote, from verse 22 reads, “What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction…” (KJV).
The key phrase in this passage for me is “What if…?” There is a similar passage in John’s Gospel. In chapter 21 we find Jesus and Peter talking:
“21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”
22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?” (NIV)
In the Romans passage Paul does not state that God made some of us for wrath and destruction. Instead he suggests the possibility to illustrate his point that God is sovereign. God has the right to do what he wants.
This brings us to the big challenge we have as humans when it comes to understanding the Bible. We judge by human standards because that is what we know. God’s judgment is based on a very different viewpoint. Time is nothing to God (Psalm 90:4). God is both the beginning and the end of everything (Rev 1:8). Most importantly, God’s definition of life is very different than our own (John 11:25).
I hope you will continue to study God’s Word. It is a treasure trove of insight and wisdom for those who come hungry for Truth. I also encourage you to be upfront with God about your feelings. Tell Him what you think, then ask Him for understanding (Matthew 7:7).
Frankly, I wish I had studied less.
The Bible is like a drug. The first times I really started into using it I was high as a kite. God was talking straight to me. I thought I had a connection with the divine. My questions were being answered as fast as I could flip random pages and find isolated phrases that suited my question. Of course, The High is a Lie. God is not that responsive for long, if ever. All my answers were in my head. I learned nothing but self-comfort.
The Bible doesn’t contain its own context. Paul never assumed later readers of his works wouldn’t know what all it was the Corinthian Women (ex-Aphrodite Temple Maids, and the Ephesians of Artemis) were teaching (except that they taught that Eve liberated Adam from ignorance using the fruit apparently) which required that he order them silenced.
Paul couldn’t have imagined that uncovered women’s hair was a sign of anything but prostitution in his society (Pagan Temple Maids were prostitutes by virtue of how religion functioned: sexual ecstasy was the most divine state to be in, and closest to heaven in that time’s mindset.) which is why he ordered women to cover their heads.
Now I’ve realized I’ve just touched the tip of the iceberg of what’s wrong with Christianity today, and how there’s nothing that I can, nor God will do about it.
No book can ever be published to convince a fundamentalist bloc to treat women as fellow humans. The Holy Spirit can’t/won’t do it. No article can convince a Protestant about the background of Purgatory theory as possibly an unspoken given, back in the centuries before Jesus. No reasoning will convince the Pride movement that attraction to the same sex is a calling to mysticism and chastity, or convince the RCC to abandon clerical celibacy.
We’re supposed to make way for the Kingdom to invade earth, but we’ve spent 2000 years without managing to untangle the landing lights.
And if the Holy Spirit has done so little for us besides keep some of us saved, what can I say about the rest of God who put us here? It sure matches his character!
Gordon,
Thank you for stopping back by and leaving another comment. These are some notes I jotted down while reading through your comments:
Your say your experience with the Bible is seen through the lens of a drug induced high.
Ultimately, everything you experience, high or sober, is in your head.
You are speaking for Paul as if you have personal knowledge of his inner thoughts. I hope you will agree that this is not possible.
When we talk about knowing something, it helps to agree on what the word “know” means. When what a person “knows” can be validated by others, we start to accept something as true. If it is not validated by others, then it is called an opinion or a belief.
The things that are wrong with Christianity have to do with the shortcomings of people.
An unbiased reading of God’s Word elevates women and men to equals before God. (See Galatians 3:28)
We are created with free will, the ability to choose our own path. We can choose to serve and obey our Creator, or we can choose to serve our own interests and desires. Whether or not someone can be convinced to change their point of view remains to be seen.
Not everyone understands what the Kingdom of Heaven is. Jesus said:
“He replied, ‘Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.’” (Matthew 13: 11)
In Mark 1:14-15 Jesus says:
“After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. ‘The time has come,’ he said. ‘The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!'”
The keys to understanding God’s Word include belief in God and a repentant heart. I encourage you to consider this approach and try it yourself.
When I said “All in my head,” I meant that it was all produced by my mind, not from God. I was lying to myself thinking my prayers were being answered while praying on my own terms by asking questions. I now know that only prayers according to God’s will are answered (James 1 or 2 somewhere).
I don’t understand what you mean by me reading Paul’s inner thoughts or reading the bible without believing in God, though. Believing in God is the whole reason I wish I hadn’t read the Bible. Each passage depicts a God I wish was different.
Gordon,
Thank you for the clarification about “All in my head.” That helps.
You comment about prayer is interesting. Jesus tells us that God is our Father (Matthew 23:9). If we pray for something that we want, God wants us to have it if it is good (Luke 11: 11-13). But if he loves us, why would he want to give us something harmful?
The challenge is learning to see things as God sees them. We tend to see things from a short term perspective. He is looking at the eternal view. We see things from a material perspective, He sees things from a spiritual one. Like touching a hot stove, there are many things we can do that might seem like a good idea at the moment, yet end up being hurtful to our soul.
About Paul’s thoughts, I was referring to your way of describing them. You wrote that “Paul never assumed” and then said, “Paul couldn’t have imagined.” These are things no one can know. Paul could have assumed a lot of things. He also could know things that we do not know. As to his imagination, who knows what he could have imagined? Does this help?
So I have a question for you: If you wish God were different, what kind of God would you like Him to be?
Well, not knowing God’s will for me, or being given an easy and clear, or at least assuring way to find, out makes me suspect it’s not God’s will for me to know his specific plans for my life. When you have no assurance that you will be joyful and useful, it dries you up inside, especially seeing that kind of fate happen to others because of their mistakes.
I’d like to have faith in my future like the faith that Christmas is coming, rather than the faith that my boss is in a good mood today. After waiting for so long for a purpose and losing most of my youth to disease, I start to fear the worst, that perhaps I’ve put up some barrier that neither God nor I are willing to remove that I may thrive with a purpose.
Now the reason I think (and believe we all should exegetically assume) Paul did not suspect that his letters would be read hundreds of years after they were written, is mostly because the cultural and political contexts of Paul’s letters were not included in those letters for future readers foreign to his addressees, otherwise he would have written them in to address us, especially for the out-of-context Sola Scriptura crowd.
Paul didn’t seem to feel the need to make an edition of his letters that tell us about the situations of the cities he wrote to. If God told him that complimentarianism would arise from his reaction against ecstatic sibylline women’s teaching from pagan religion, he would certainly have left no room for women being “separate but equal” forever, but made clear that his bisphoric commands were specific to that church and situation, and allowed experienced women to lead the church, by mandate, instead of mentioned examples (like Phœbe). That’s why I believe he did not foresee alien readers taking his word for eternal church law instead of administrative directives.
As for a different God, I don’t know. I think any request for a change in God’s way of dealing with us that I could make, if it were to come true, would only make things worse, so it’s hard to imagine a greater ideal when God and his plan are the ultimate good by definition. So seeing myself mentally ill and without joy, I see nothing I can do.
Gordon,
Because of space limitations I have replied by starting a new thread below.
– Jeff
I wish I could accept it like that, but I can’t. Having a mind of my own is burdensome, and I can’t pluck it out or cut it off like an eye or hand. If I could ignore 2 Peter 3:16 or testing every spirit, then I could hopefully accept all the blatant sexism and slavery permitting in Paul’s letters and even more so in the OT uncritically. That kind of mindset is what killed most of the Amerindians. ‘The Word of God said killing pagans is God’s will, didn’t it?’ And I really don’t like that.
I like to think of the Bible as a record of God, not the Word of God, that it is a true witness, of what God said, not a book of what he says. God clearly doesn’t speak any more, or the Bible would be updated by prophets and apostles to countries that exist today like when Isaiah addressed all the countries around him.
Maybe that’s what I’d ask of God if doing so wouldn’t make things worse as punishment for questioning his governance.
I’d love to mindlessly submit, but it’s hard to do that. Reading Psalm 86 is nice until I realize that God only answers that prayer according to his will, which means that petitioning him is basically educated guesswork regarding his plans.
Gordon,
You have touched on one of the fundamental conundrums of Christianity: How can we find joy in the midst of physical suffering? You also raise the question of the relevance of Paul’s words to today’s world. Finally, I can relate to your description of yourself as “mentally ill and without joy.” I have been in a similar place.
Speaking from my personal experience of many years ago, I held a similar view of Scripture as what you describe as our current “cultural and political contexts.” The question I wrestled with was whether our contemporary view was the correct view. I do not mean “correct” in a legal or scholarly sense, but rather a functional sense. For example, a person has a handful of keys and a locked door. Only one key is “correct,” and that is the one that opens the door. The challenge from our point of view is to adopt a view of Scripture that works. If we try and force Scripture through a viewpoint that is not correct, it is like trying to jam a wrong key in a lock.
Jesus explains this in Mark 10:15:
“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Faith is not a matter of intellect. In fact, it can be argued that intellect is the enemy of faith because the intellect wants to be the master of the facts. God cannot be mastered by his creation. Thus, the intellect has already lost that battle. It is the wrong key.
This brings us to the mystery of the Bible’s authorship. In looking for the right key, we need to wonder if Paul wrote those letters or if God wrote them through Paul. If Scriptures are not authoritative by nature, then the Bible is not authoritative.
We each get to choose how we approach God’s Word. When after many years, I finally understood my own limitations in this area, I allowed myself to accept God’s Word as His Word: uncritically. That did not mean I could explain everything or claim to understand it, but that I chose to use the key Jesus describes in Mark 10:15. I accept God’s Word as a child would. After all, if God could create the universe and all that is in it, getting a book published the way he wanted it would be a piece of cake.
Looking at Scripture through this “key,” the question is not whether Paul could foresee us debating the value or purpose of his letters. The question is, “What is God telling me?” Going back to Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, before he dives into the topic of covering heads, he talks about our freedom in Christ (1 Corinthians 10: 23-33). He concludes by saying, “whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
Finally, I offer this: If a person desires joy, they need to submit to God on His terms. In Psalm 86 David prays:
Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.
(Psalm 86: 1-4, NIV)
That is where I have found joy. Not freedom from worldly pain or problems, but a deep and abiding joy, and the peace that goes with it.
Gordon,
This comment is a reply to your comment timestamped June 24, 2021 at 2:56 PM.
I appreciate your honesty about your beliefs. I respect everyone’s right to choose what they believe. However, I reserve the right to argue with their logic. 🙂
It sounds like you understood me to suggest one has to “mindlessly submit” to God’s Word. That is absolutely not true. In my experience a little child is not mindless.
As to killing pagans, I have read the Bible many times and never once come away with the understanding that it said anything of the sort. Do you have a specific reference in mind?
As to your assumption that God does not speak anymore, I have to respectfully disagree. I also disagree with your premise that the Bible needs to be added to. God’s book is thoroughly comprehensive and complete.
When a person passes judgment on God, we do so based on very little knowledge. The number of our opinions can stretch out towards infinity, but actual hard facts are very limited and hard to come by.
Some questions to ponder:
How does God define ‘life?”
How does God see “time?”
Which existed first, the spiritual realm or the physical?
Is the spiritual realm a subset of the physical or is it the other way around?
What did Jesus mean when he said, “before Abraham was born, I am?”
How is it that after he died on the cross Jesus appeared to more than five hundred people? (1 Corinthians 15:6)
What does Jesus mean when he says, “I and the Father are one?” (John 10:30)
What then, is child-like faith, other than mindless and uncritical belief?
Well, when it comes to killing pagans, if you believe that God gives you some land, the whole book of Joshua forms a pattern that can easily be taken by the undiscerning to prescribe that kind of activity such as ethnic cleansing. This was the organized church’s MO from about 700 until about 1815.
Now, how can you say that God still speaks today if the Word of God has not addressed anyone about God’s opinion on the church’s activity, ever since the Nicolaitan controversy? Don’t you think God would clarify himself on things we debate over, in solid prophetic teaching that sirectly addresses us just as the seven churches in Asia, if he were inclined to speak today?
If God speaks, it’s worth writing as scripture as much as possible, is it not? Scripture not being written anew can only mean that God does not wish to say anything.
What has God said to you that he hasn’t already said before?
Gordon,
One thing that a child has that many adults have lost is humility. Arrogance and hubris are like fortifications of barbed wire and landmines around the heart.
God’s judgement on the Canaanites was just. He does not have to explain himself to you or I, although I think a proper reading of Scripture makes his reasoning clear. (See Isaiah 55: 8-9)
As to the church’s behaviors that you describe, the church has always been composed of the spiritual and the worldly. One should not judge the validity of the the one based on the actions of the other.
Finally, you make the case that God should – according to your standards – come down to us and argue his case on “things we debate.” If God allowed his own people, the Jews, to continue in their ignorance after the Messiah had already been here, he will allow you and I to live and die by our own opinions as well.
Right, so now, what is childlike faith other than humble, mindless and uncritical faith?
God’s judgement on the Canaanites was just, yes. And if you aren’t critical of the text, if you take it at face value, you may then take that and use it to justify Hernan Cortes and Andrew Jackson’s passing of “God’s judgement” on these new Canaanites in the New World. This is why uncritical faith in the Bible’s perspicuity is a very, VERY bad idea. Was Joshua descriptive or prescriptive? The childish reading fixes his bayonet and marches off to the western territories.
Now I am not necessarily making the case that God should or should not address us like he did the churches in Asia (and don’t appreciate the Rom.9:20 card). I am arguing that because he does not, we can’t pretend that God still talks to us today at all.
Him leaving us in ignorance and letting us interperet Joshua as a license to Manifest Destiny only reinforces my induction: God doesn’t talk to us any more.
I could pray that God would send prophets that got the Church’s attention, but as you said earlier, “If we pray for something that we want, God wants us to have it if it is good (Luke 11: 11-13).” Which makes me wonder why God so suddenly made it NOT good to talk to us like he so lovingly did in the apostolic age about their contemporary issues and controversies.
This is my grief, that God has essentially left us. With an unchanging text that helps us less and less as its context is lost. It gives me the impression that the promises of the Holy Spirit, including regeneration and guidance into the truth, were promises only to the Apostles, and I’m seeing the results of Christianity’s fruits (because judging Christianity by its fruits is a legitimate way to examine someone’s character), and induct that the Bible WAS god-breathed, living and active, but no longer.
I spent years with it dying in my hands and I still listlessly scan the pages hoping for a phrase to pop out, praying for a personal inference, or a coincidence in my life to connect to it. I am starting to think that inductive reasoning regarding the whole history of the church and its fruits can be explained by ‘ecclesial deism,’ a term thrown by Catholics against Sola Scriptura fundies, but its literal meaning is properly embraced by Christadelphians, who are hyper-cessationists. The disturbing thing is that it lines up with reality. The promises aren’t matching the realities.
How can I not be upset with God for leaving us with a book that stopped being active? for not having conversations with us, talking with us, his own creatures. Doesn’t he love us?
He speaks to me through the Book, but maybe that’s because I have childlike faith? I also read the scriptures very critically, but not critically in judgment of God, just practicing what 2 Timothy 2:15 says. I have also seen miracles and have had them performed on me and through me. Don’t forget what Christ said about this church being a mustard seed that would grow so large all the fouls of the air would roost in its branches. Many branches that do not abide (in the vine), and the fowls sitting thereon are going to be cast into the fire. If you’re so busy judging God without, but cannot witness the reality of his Spirit within, maybe you should pause to consider repentance rather than judgment? I speak these things out of love.
Next time a disaster strikes you or you go into illness and you start asking questions, would you want me to tell you how arrogant you are for begging God to explain why you’re hooked up to all those hospital machines? Should I look at you in that hospital bed and tell you how judgemental you are being at God because you’re upset and frantically begging for answers or an explanation for why it is that your new nerve pain can’t be relieved by morphine and you might be incurable? Because I’m not really judging God.
I’m judging the Church
1. for not giving me his phone number, or
2. for giving me the impression that his office hours run this late that he still takes calls and speaks back through the reveiver instead of using the Bible as his answering machine.
The book that he wrote and then left with us doesn’t make up for the Holy Spirit’s absense besides translating our prayers and indirectly guiding us by having written the Bible.
If I knew I wasn’t supposed to seek that kind of gnostic prayer-contact with God and hear back from him, I would not have gone through so much misery in my late teens.
I’m trying to find the secret to hearing from God when I pray without
1. reading unchanged history and letters that don’t address me without me “humbly” twisting the meanings to fit my situations (eisegesis)
2. playing ouija with the Bible’s pages for responses from God, or casting lots for small decisions (sorcery)
3. scratching through every coincidence and omen in my life for signs from God (superstition, sorcery)
4. Assuming that God is guiding my decisions with his Spirit without my input or knowledge (fatalism, Calvinism)
5. trying to elevate my spirit for a better signal (mysticism) and then getting ganged-up on by evil spirits when I try this and that way to open my spirit to hear Him.
6. Denying my cravings for contact with God, assuming that it is not a blessing I’m fated to have, and carrying on serving (inner death, lukewarmness, apostasy.)
7. Faking it some more.
Gordon,
I wish that I had words that would help you. I agree with you about so much! My experience with the organizational church has been frustrating and disappointing at times. Finding a church that follows the Bible is not an easy task in this world. Keeping the church faithful is even a greater challenge.
Your expectations of God are not being met. Neither are your expectations of humanity. It sounds almost like you are holding God responsible for the misunderstandings of past and present. If a person chooses to misapply God’s Word, God is supposed to show up and straighten the situation out.
But it doesn’t work that way. In never has. The reason Jesus was killed was because he did exactly what I hear you asking God to do: He spoke the truth.
When you write that “God has essentially left us,” my heart aches for you. I wish you could know Him like I know Him. He has not left me, nor has he left the believers that I hang out with. He is very much alive and very active.
You ask, “Doesn’t he love us?” The answer is yes, he does. John 3:16 is a famous example of that love.
Maybe this is not the kind of love you are looking for?
In your response to NMOP3PISdn, you list two reasons why you are judging the church. Then you list the things you pray without.
I appreciate your openness and your honesty. The best I can offer is to do the same. I am offering these words in good faith, simply as an illustration of my viewpoint as one who believes God does love us and communicate with us even today.
About the Church’s crime of giving you hope that God “still takes calls” I believe Jesus when he says, “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16:24)
I also believe that one of the ways the Holy Spirit communicates is by highlighting a pertinent truth in God’s Word. This is not the only way God communicates, but perhaps the most important. Sometimes the answer is a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19: 9-13).
When I pray, I believe that God can speak through casting the lot. What does Scripture say?
“The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 16:33)
“Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart.” (Proverbs 18:18)
The OT priests used the lot for decision making (Leviticus 16:8, Numbers 26:56)
I believe God Himself makes my “lot” in life secure. (Psalm 16:5)
Even the NT disciples used this technique for making important decisions (Acts 1:26).
So yes, I accept that God can speak through casting lots if needed.
As far as coincidences and omens (your point 3), I see these as very different. In a world view where God is real and active, there are no coincidences. Everything has a purpose (See John 9).
Looking for “omens” seems like something I would personally associate with idol worship. The Christian has God’s Word to explain God’s will, so we really don’t need ‘omens’ to discern what God wants us to do (Matthew 22: 37-40).
Regarding “fatalism / Calvinism” (Point 4), I agree with you. I believe God allows us to choose our own path. I think that is consistent with Scripture.
As to “mysticism” (Point 5), I also agree with you. Communication with God is not a matter of “feeling it” before one can hear God speak. The God I know is a rational God. He speaks to me in the depths of my despair as well as the joy of worship and His Word.
Your points 6 & 7 are similar in my view. This is a tough one. Do we continue on in faith even though it feels like we are “faking it?” Perhaps another way to put this point is this: Do we continue believing in God even when everything seems to argue against it?
In 2 Corinthians 6: 3-10 Paul talks about this. His life is miserable yet he continues to believe in God. I don’t think he denied his cravings for God or faked it. His faith was rooted in a deep conviction about the existence of God. This sounds similar to your convictions. God corrected Paul’s misguided faith and put him on the path of serving Jesus. His example and his writings are God’s offering of guidance to us today.
So, we are back to acting in faith. You seem to have the prerequisite belief that God exists. I hope and pray that you find the “key” to the door that Jesus is knocking on (Revelation 3:20). I know that he wants to make his home in you.
Thanks. I suppose I just need to keep working against the hyper-cessationist in my mind just as I’ve been beating back the Calvinist inside me. I suppose if God can use my own rational mind to kill the latter, he can kill the former and bring me back into the spiritual prayer that others around me talk about.
Surely if there were ever a good that was legal to covet from your neighbor, it would be his prayer life.
Thank you, brother.
My heart is aching for you. I will keep you in prayer. Specifically, I will ask the Father to touch your heart with his love. That should be a good start. 🙂
Blessings!
Gordon,
I’m sorry if my words offended you. This was not my intent. I appreciate your ability to express yourself and your transparency with your struggle, it is very relatable, and I can see that it is very real. It’s certainly okay to have questions. I am simply trying to share with you as iron sharpens iron; not antagonistically or without compassion so you have my apologies. We can get lost in arguing over all the minutia. I was simply trying to avoid entangling with that temptation. So I rather shot you something from the heart and my own experience. Of course, intonation is lacking in pixel format, at least in prose upon a screen.
I’ve had to live through the very things you’re asking me to consider, being “hooked up to . . . hospital machines” with “nerve pain [that] can’t be relieved by morphine”. I’ve laid paralyzed for months from severe spinal injuries, in pain so intense I could not sleep and wished many times for death. I still struggle with pain and sleep. I have other issues as well.
Surpassing these things, however, would have to a resentment springing forth from a divorce where I had to watch my child get ripped away from me while being maligned in court (over and over). All I aspired to early on in this life was to be an awesome father. Because of the abuse I suffered from my own, I wanted to make a difference for someone else. Perhaps this had become an idol for me that God had to free me from. Either way, having a daughter and yet not being able to be present in her life nearly killed me. I wish I were stronger, but this struggle is very real for me. I yet do not have contact with my daughter who is now 18.
I’ll share what I’ve learned from this because in the end though I wanted compassion, I already had it, even if I didn’t feel it. God loved me, but I was beginning to blame Him (even though I thought I was blaming myself) for my own struggles in life, but had also laid to His account all the discordance in the world, especially within His so called “church”. But rather than becoming a part of the solution, I chose to become a part of the problem and grew mad at God (without ever acknowledging this).
But I was not a victim to anyone but my own sympathies. Certainly, I have legitimately been victimized in my life, but I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. This life will not have the last laugh over my soul (though my body may be crushed, or I enter into terrible trials), for God sings praises over me, daily! This is whether I hear them or not. At times, he has allowed me to listen in. Though often, I don’t get this window beyond the veil. But the more I look to Him, and away from everything that is wrong, the stronger my faith grows, and coincidentally the less I need affirmation, the stronger His tangible presence becomes in my life and the more affirmations I am blessed by.
Like yourself, I am incredibly disappointed with the “church” of today. But I also see immense beauty in God’s flock, far beyond anything I have yet to find in my own walk. I have found this within many of the men that visit and curate this site. And no one is perfect. I might be a lowly janitor or door greeter in Christ’s kingdom, but praise God that I even belong because I know what He’s saved me from, and is continuing to save me from, myself. It is not the problems in God’s church that I need to see corrected, but the things in my own heart and lack of faith. Then, just maybe, I can help contribute to what is lacking. The problem is that I had so many hurts myself, I wasn’t entrusting to God.
And I think in many ways God is probably more disappointed than either of us with the current state of affairs in the world. He has a righteousness indignation against sin and error that we may never know. I mean, I certainly would not have put my own daughter to death over it. And in the end, He will yet judge these things in fire. The present state does not align with His moral or emotional will, though it does with His sovereign, which is going to happen regardless. I believe Christ alludes to the state of affairs at his second coming when he says,
“I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?”
(Luke 18:8)
The allusion is that it will be scarce. It would appear that this concept and prefiguring of a remnant is consistent. That the gate is actually narrow and the road truly difficult. We know a great falling away is to take place first, and that many of Christ’s disciples mourned the deceptions and heresies that they knew were soon to follow upon their departure. Having been raised in the error of Roman Catholicism, I am very much aware of the deceptions that have taken root and continue to swallow up millions. But it can be found in all denominations.
Here are two parables to consider, it may confirm what you are seeing today, but it is nothing new to God. What you are seeing is not a lack of His presence or promises, but what must be unto His glory in the end. Jesus shared the following,
“Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.”
Matthew 13:24-30
A tare looks exactly like wheat in the early stages, but it’s fruit or seed will be different in the end. However, these will grow up alongside one another, and certainly this will cause a lot of unequal yoking and bad fruit among those claiming to be Christ’s. It may also hinder the walk of true Christians when we are not careful to separate ourselves from the world order. Churches in America have become seeker friendly, rather than feeding those that are spiritually hungering, it caves to placate before men’s carnal appetites and not rather to offend where repentance could save. Again, Christ foresaw this.
The next parable immediately follows is this,
“Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field:
Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
(Matthew 13:31-32)
Birds of the air are often figurative of foul spirits, or demonic spiritual entities. However, these only lodge in the branches, not being grafted into the true vine. They will be cast into the fire at the end of the age. And lastly, following it he gives this parable,
“Another parable spake he unto them; The kingdom of heaven is like unto leaven, which a woman took, and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened.”
(Matthew 13:33)
Sadly, this is the scariest of all to understand because whereas the birds are seen nesting without the branches, and the tares grow alongside the wheat, we know that a little leaven, leavens the whole lump. And this here is the illustration Jesus gave. When Christ speaks of leaven elsewhere, we know this to be doctrine.
“. . .Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.”
(Luke 12:1)
“Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.”
(Matthew 16:12)
Basically, the church is going to be watered down, but by church here, we intend to take it to mean those gathering as his body, and not necessarily all whom Christ will claim in the end. Do Christ’s real followers suffer harm and damage here? Yes, do we endanger our own growth through personal failures and the failures of others? Sadly, yes also. Are we effected by these things? Yes, harm is suffered here. The state of affairs is not good, but we can see that Christ saw and foretold all these things, and therefore if we choose to trust His plan, we can be assured that,
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
And in this, we must step up to the plate and shine, rather than hide ourselves and look to God to fix it. Though we do look to God to fix it, it is as his vessels. Christ assures us that not one of His true flock will be lost,
“But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you.
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.”
(John 10:26-29)
At present, there are many tares growing along side the wheat. The church is under attack, but we need this because it needs to be purged. Look what this “pandemic” has done to attendance in many “churches”. I believe the separating at the end of the age is happening as we speak, and will not be a singular moment in eschatological time (though it will be in finale judgment). People doing algebra wrong, however, does not make algebra untrue.
When I look back on the things I’ve had to suffer, I know I am not alone. My biggest regret is that I tried to blame my circumstances or look for answers although I already possessed them. I just didn’t like what it was asking of me personally. And in this, my heart grew bitter before I even realized it. What I had intuitively known from the scriptures was always there. Basically, I wasn’t trusting God’s goodness and only looked to the problems or what I lacked personally, and hence I could only grew bitter and nurse the pain. And this bitterness had set into my mind and begun taking over in ways that eventually led me a long ways away from trusting in God. But thankfully he was ever faithful to me, though I had failed him. He strengthens me even in my shortcomings when I find room for repentance.
I had a laser focus that could see the error or issues in everything from a mile away. I still see these things, but my heart does not respond to them in the same way. I am learning how to surrender my heart in constant repentance and asking God to purge me from the leaven of unbelief. At it’s core, this is what I was struggling with. God had to humble me in my situation to return me to a place of repentance, and my heart back to my first love.
It was not at disbelief in God, but in my relationship with Him. We can ask questions, and even doubt, but our hearts will only grow bitter if we refuse to accept the answers God has for us. I had to walk through a long desert, even after coming to Christ, so that my faith could be brought to where it is today. I must come to Him daily to drink.
I encourage you to press on in faith and trust to Him alone who faithful. It isn’t us. For a long time I kept looking inside myself and only saw what was missing. Or looked outside myself and only saw problems. God’s desire is that we look upon Him believing, with faith, and that we commit fully the care and trust of our souls into His capable and loving hands. And then in that, we are to try to walk out into the world as he builds us up in faith, so that we may share it and disciple others. I’m sorry that you have been failed in this way. I have too, but I have also experienced incredible fellowship with God’s flock that brings tears of joy to my eyes. I know you can have this for yourself if you are willing to press on believing. Not in His existence, but for his care and love over you. For this is his moral and emotional will for everyone! Though you may not choose to receive it, God cannot be held responsible for the freedom he has given you as resting within his sovereign plan. He still gave you that freedom as an ingredient to bring about his glory and plan. But what he’s give you is real.
In this, I’ve had to by his Spirit, fight to put to death a root of bitterness springing up in my own heart and life. Here are some scriptures that convicted me greatly. I pray these do not condemn, as they did me. The Devil tried using this to show me that I was not the Lord’s. But if we respond to conviction, rather than come under condemnation, Christ draws us close in relationship with him. For he desires we enter into grace, and not draw back in fear. The author of Hebrews says,
“Look diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15).
“Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.” (Hebrews 3:12).
It matters not that God has formed me like clay, my own heart is subjectively responsible and held accountable before Him. This is the reality to which I am beholden, even if God’s is sovereign over all. Even Christ walked in this humility though he was God, and would have never failed because he belonged eternally to the Father and furthermore cannot so much as be tempted to evil.
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”
Philippians 2:5-8
“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”
Hebrews 4:15
I know this is a lot, and I’m sure you are well versed, but I think it could be helpful? I know it is to me. See here my friend,
“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted:
But the rich, in that he is made low: because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away.
For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the grace of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the rich man fade away in his ways.
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Do not err, my beloved brethren.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
(James 1:2-17)
Christ being God cannot be tempted with evil, that is His will is always good and in obedience to the Father, yet Christ himself suffered in weakness as us, though he was perfect. He had the freedom to sin, but nothing in His perfect heart that could ever tempt him away from God. In this way am I able to square my own understanding, though limited as it may be. With one truth of the mind, I am in Christ predestined, I know this (but only because his Spirit is at work in my life) and by it, he will continue to subjectively though my own experience, sanctify me unto the end. He will complete the good work that he has started. It is his work. I have merely been invited to partake.
My heart must find obedience to God’s Spirit, but it can only do this through His power. It is the fruit of a supernatural birth which must first take place following real repentance. The reality, however, of the heart must be this, that God is in control, and He is under no obligation to save me at any point in time. I therefore cannot grow high minded, for if God willed he could cast me off. Bottom line, I can’t try to play chess with God. He will win, but thankfully this is not the heart he has given me (in the new birth), or at least it is one He is fashioning anew in me, to walk in reverence and fear before Him, though I can trust clearly in His promises that says I am his forever sealed by the same Spirit that works such humility in me. So long as I have the testimony of His Spirit within me, whereby I cry to Him as my Father, I know I shall never be cast away. I will never see death, I have already been made anew Jesus. This same Spirit that brings me confidence, is the very same that humbles me. And in this Christ led by the same example. Squaring things with the mind and heart are two different ordeals. They are not opposed but must look to different things for their edification.
Even Christ had to square his subjective experience in walking out His faith, to the point of sweating tears, yet we know He was and always is eternally secure and faithful to the Father, even before ever the foundations of the world were laid by His awesome and Divine power. If we have been laid under this same power, if the heavenly Father has planted us, we may take faith, stand in Him, and in love desire to walk humbly and meekly under that amazing grace. We can rest in this same assurance if indeed we have been baptized into this death, if so we will also live according to his Spirit.
Anyhow, I’m rambling and preaching. My apologies. If I had the time I could say this better, with less of my own weaknesses coming through. But I will refrain though I had more I wanted to share. If you want to discuss anything personally with me I invite you to reach out. I don’t have the answers, but can share my own perspective and can relate some degree with your struggles. I just do not desire to get baited into doubtful disputations. We can exchange emails or something if you’re curious or interested. I’ve wrestled with some of the things you’re dealing with. I do have compassion, though I’m sure I could always grew in my love. This is one area I am weak in, and it is the most important of all. But by God’s grace, I can still operate in His body, and by that exposure I am myself edified. Love in Jesus Christ.
Chris