Titus 1:6 (d) — Ripeness

… and [whose children] are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

Summary: Like the concept of the blameless man, Paul’s admonition about a man’s children requires a thoughtful understanding of the principles involved. 

I have an apple tree in my backyard. I planted it myself about five or six years ago. Time seems to fly by these days, so I am not sure exactly how long it has been there. However long since I dug a hole for it, planted it, and watered it, it has been there long enough to bear fruit. 

Not having had my own fruit tree before, I discovered that I have been woefully ignorant of some of the basics of fruit trees. Like parenting, there are a million things to know that nobody ever told me about before. Also, like parenting, there are a million things that can go wrong. 

We live in a culture that seems to be at war with the idea of parents raising their own children. The secular world has coalesced around an anti-God perspective. Everything God says is good is rejected by the secular humanist, and everything God warns us against has been declared good. This is not a new phenomenon. The prophet Jeremiah bemoaned something similar many centuries ago. God’s response was a resounding denunciation of false prophets. (Jeremiah 14:13-14)

I have gone through a period that could be characterized as “wild and disobedient” in my own youth. I have seen my own children go through a similar stage. So, I have three suggestions for understanding this text. 

First, notice that Paul uses a collective approach to evaluating a person’s offspring. He does not say that “each” child should believe, etc. If a man has many children, most of whom are believers, is one bad egg a deal-breaker? When the prodigal son left home, did his father suddenly become less of a father? Of course not. However, if all the children belonging to a man are wild and disobedient that indicates that there is a disconnect somewhere. 

Second, I think we should consider the context and the degree of behavior. Is the behavior of a particular child related to a specific issue? That is a context-specific behavior and not necessarily a reflection of one’s belief in God. The degree of wildness and disobedience is another factor. Like the concept of being blameless, I don’t think Paul is suggesting that a man’s children should be perfect. Children need room to grow, and that includes room to make mistakes. 

This brings us to the third suggested way of looking at Paul’s words; ripeness. Going back to my apple tree, I’ve noticed that just because an apple looks ripe on the outside, it doesn’t mean it is ripe on the inside. Judging a man unfit to lead based on one of his children at a particular point in time could be a mistake. It could also be unfair to the church. If we wait for the perfect person for leadership, we will likely be leaderless for a long time. Maybe until the Perfect One himself returns!

Application: Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly. (John 7:24) 

Food for Thought: How do we guard our children from secular influences these days?