Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith …
Summary: Some people are more sensitive than others. Some are less sensitive. What we are used to creates an expectation that we often apply to other people. Sometimes this has disastrous results.
Some people are more sensitive than others. When my wife was a little girl, her older siblings sometimes needed to be rebuked sharply. They tended to be a boisterous lot. But on the few occasions that my wife crossed the line (she was mostly a saint, I am told) all her dad needed to do was give her a stern look. “The Look” would be enough. She would fold like a house of cards.
I can’t speak for her older siblings, but I have known plenty of other kids who were impervious to “The Look.” The Look would bounce off of them like water off of a duck’s back. To get their attention, you needed to take a good solid 2×4 upside the head. Then you could talk with them.
Of course, I don’t mean a physical 2×4, but sometimes it feels like that when we have to get someone’s attention. There can be a lot of reasons for this seeming imperviousness to correction. One of the most common reasons is our personal frame of reference.
Have you ever gotten into your car, switched on the ignition, and winced because the radio is too loud? You turn the radio down and drive off, only to find yourself turning it back up again as the road noise increases. When you pull back into your parking space, the radio volume seems fine. Then, when you get back in the car later, the cycle repeats itself.
Some people are used to listening to loud music. Maybe they have had loud people in their lives. Perhaps they have been yelled at their whole life and are simply used to being yelled at. People like that do not notice a whisper. They may not even notice a normal voice. You might have to yell just to get their attention.
Life on Crete sounds like it falls into this category. Because they lived on an island, the Cretans were isolated from change. “Normal” to them was lying to each other, being brutish, lazy, and stuffing themselves with food whenever they could. For some of us, this might sound like a typical family gathering!
Paul is not being mean. He understands what “normal” is to the Cretans. He knows that there is a lot of work to be done to teach these people the ways of God. He doesn’t want Titus wasting time pussyfooting around.
Application: Don’t be offended if someone does not respond to you the way you expect. Find out what “normal” is for them and proceed accordingly.
Food for Thought: The other side of this topic is when a Cretan tries to “help” someone more sensitive. How should we deal with the feelings that result from these interactions?
Our feelings are expressed very differently depending on our background, the family situation or lack of family we may have experienced, our thought life, input from others, emotional intelligence, sensitivity, personality type, communication skills, and a myriad of other factors may influence how we communicate our feelings.
I would hope even my every facial expression, would be pleasing to the Lord in the presence of someone who was like your wife when she was perhaps a shade younger. Hopefully, she has grown to appreciate a wider expression 😆 of communication, without being quite so fragile. Nevertheless, she must have been a joy to have as a child with such a level of sensitivity that discipline was rarely needed. Obviously you already know you have a rare gem in her as your companion and confidant, or at least this is just my initial impression of her in the way you speak and refer to your wife.
My environment was quite different, to the point of feeling a need to escape my circumstances at a rather young age. Discovering what is “normal” or acceptable communication and etiquette has been a process and journey for me. Hopefully, I can be someone who does not need a bit or bridle, or bit, or need to be tamed., but instead ever ready to follow, the Lord’s instructions and counsel. If I can follow the Lord’s guidance, as well as be transformed by His Spirit into His image by spending time with Him and walking with Him then perhaps a gentle, kind spirit with others will be effective the greatest majority of the time.
It is actually amazing, that sometimes a whisper as well as an initial attention getting action may be much more effective with a toddler who lacks ability to be attentive, as well as is usually rather self-centered and self-absorbed.
Adults who have formed more entrenched, probably self-defeating, and destructive, toxic behavior and communication modes need not just a self-awareness as to how they are perceived by others, but positive role models, counsel, exposure to more acceptable language and behavior, as well as an understanding and practice of what it takes to make new habits which are beneficial, appreciated, and acceptable within the culture in which they wish to function and fellowship within.
The Spirit of God is amazingly powerful in His ability to transform, supply resources, and make useful for service those He calls into His kingdom and service. The power of prayer, praise, God’s word, fellowship, worship, thanksgiving, grace from others, encouragement, trust, obedience can and will enable individuals who desire to become more like the Savior to do so with the Holy Spirit’s help and control.
As to the need for harsh rebuke or severe scourging from the Lord due to a lack of a tender heart, disobedience or whatever reason there may be. A rebellious, sinful, wicked, totally corrupt fleshly old nature for example is a reason continual feeding of our new nature is required and beneficial. I would strongly recommend avoiding this kind of behavior, demeanor, speech, actions and so on which would merit a sharp, stinging rebuke.
It is far better to be a sensitive, God desiring, soul who desires to bring the Lord glory with his or her life and testimony than someone who acts and behaves as if they had never been redeemed.
I have observed that there may be non-Christian individuals who are seemingly so cultured, refined and socially respected and thoughtful, that they may appear to be a better persons than true believers who have a heart relationship with the Lord but lack a maturity in their relational ability. Only the Lord knows the heart, as well as those who are truly His so we should be careful and cautious in our impressions of people.
It is good to know and understand, as well as experience, what 2 Chronicles 16: 9 states. The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.
May all who love the Lord, Be Blessed, and enjoy and bask in God’s goodness, and presence. May each walk with Him in such a way that they are a blessing to their families, co-workers, community, local fellowship, and a joy and blessing to the leadership who care, shepherd , and teach each one. In all things may the Lord be glorified.
It must be far more joyful for a pastor to experience a growing congregation not just in size, but most importantly in maturity, who consistently build one another up, as well as have such an impact that others are regularly coming to faith and have a desire to become part of a positive, growing fellowship.
Thanks Jeff for writing threeminutebible. Also a big thank you to Pastors Rich, Nathan, Tad, Rono, the elders, all the staff, other ministry leaders, and faithful believers at Bethel Community Church. You are truly loved, appreciated, valued and admired. I really pray that harsh, sharp, rebuke will be very infrequent, rare, and seldom necessary in our body even though it is spoken of in this passage in Titus as being sometimes useful and necessary.
Jeff,
Thank you for your comment this morning! You are quite right about my wife, she is a “rare gem!” 🙂 I’m glad the Lord brought you to Bethel, and I am glad you are enjoying Three Minute Bible!
The other side of this topic is when a Cretan tries to “help” someone more sensitive. How should we deal with the feelings that result from these interactions?
Sharply could mean in a way that is strongly felt or that has a strong effect. Other words could be Clearly, strongly, discernibly, distinctly, pointedly.
I had a cousin who raised horses with his wife. He would break the horse and Linda would train the horse. It was great to watch each style and see over time how the animals would react as they were approached. The trained animals would often walk toward their trainer, while the broken animals would not.
As a manager of people in a manufacturing environment, I never raised my voice unless we were in a crisis situation. But I always made sure my message was clearly received by the person I was talking with. As a Christian I have found Christ speaks to others through me in this same way.
Jesus acted justly with righteous anger toward the money changing activities in the Temple, yet when dealing with the men ready to stone Mary, and the woman at the well, we see His clearly, calmly expressing the truth, achieved positive results. With the Pharisees and Sadducees He spoke very clearly, pointedly and strongly with complete control. His words and examples were very clear, strong in meaning, but I hear a calm voice delivering the message.
He is the same today, He knows how to deliver His message to the hearts of each person He calls and teaches. He trains each of us and grows in us at the rate we give ourselves to Him, never forcing Himself on us. I’m sure Titus, being led by the Holy Spirit knew exactly how to deliver Gods message to all types of personalities.
Ron,
I love the story about your cousin and his horses. It is interesting that he and his wife fell into different roles. Sometimes that is how life is with people, too.
I also appreciate your perspective on the different “voices” Jesus used. That is very helpful. Thank you!
Thank you Jeff H for the encouragement. Thank you Jeff H and Ron for the wisdom in your comments. Thank you Jeff for another great devotion.
I appreciate that what is acknowledged here is that every person is different and created uniquely with a unique personality and set of experiences. Just as God treats His children differently based upon their personality, we should strive to treat people according to what is most beneficial to them as individuals.
Rich,
So true! We are all different. Thankfully our God loves us all!