But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.
Summary: Somehow avoiding people sounds a bit un-Christian. Yet Paul tells us to avoid people who live to argue. Looking at the list of “things to stress” that Paul gave Titus, we can see how this makes sense.
I know it is unusual for us to look at an entire sentence, let alone two whole verses. (My mom likes to give me a hard time by asking, “So what WORD are you writing about today?”) Before doing a deep dive into what Paul is talking about here, I thought it would be useful to lay the groundwork with an overview of what he is telling us.
The key concept here is avoidance; what to avoid and who to avoid. This is a difficult topic for Christians. The general theme of Christianity is that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Yet, if we believe Paul’s writings are inspired by God, then we have to take this concept of avoidance to heart.
Some people are wired for controversy. They love to argue and believe that they are right, or at least that they have a right to decide what is “right.” The problem with this attitude is that it puts other people in the position of having to choose between conflict or submission. If we submit to the definition of “right” that these people have, then we place ourselves in conflict with our integrity or God’s Word. If we suggest that there might be a question about the truthfulness or accuracy of their assumptions, then we end up in conflict with them.
Both propositions are problematic for a follower of Jesus Christ.
We do not have to go very far to discover why this is true. In Paul’s list of things for Titus “to stress” to the people in the church, he includes the following items:
- Say “No” to ungodliness (Some people object to being told “No.”)
- Be eager to do what is good (Doing what is good is difficult if someone is picking a fight.)
- Be subject to rulers and authorities (Some people see themselves as an “authority” when they are not one.)
- Be peaceable (This is a challenging task in the presence of someone who loves conflict.)
So we are confronted with choices. Do we engage in foolish controversies, arguments, and quarrels, or do we avoid them? We might imagine that walking away from controversy is easy. Just turn and go the other direction, right? But what if they follow you around? What if they refuse to listen and insist on demanding your attention? What if they claim to be a believer but do not act like one because they are not peaceable?
Paul says to warn them and then walk away.
The thing about divisive people is that they do not like to be ‘walked away’ from. They might yell. They might get angry. They might tell stories about you. But then, that sounds like what we are told to expect from the world.
Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” (John 15:18)
Application: Decide who you want to be. Are you going to argue or be peaceable?
Food for Thought: What is the difference between a “foolish” controversy and one that is not foolish?
I would like to say that I really appreciate this blog and the way it helps me think of the application of God’s Word in my life.
I think that most people have encountered someone that just wants to argue no matter what. When I read this passage it reminds that a little friendly banter is ok, and can even lead to a closer relationship with someone, but when a discussion turns to planting seeds of resentment in my heart or in someone else’s heart, it directly contradicts what God intends.
I think God wants us to engage with people on a personal level and be mindful of our relationships, ultimately sharing God’s love with both fellow believer’s and non-believers:
Philippians 2:2-4 Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
1 Peter 3:8-9 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
But is those times when it is evident that the person you are speaking with is not interested in sharing, but is rather looking just to argue for arguments sake, and more likely taking it to a personal level, the bible instructs us that it is good and acceptable to warn them and walk away. I like the gentleness of that passage. I also like that it does leave the door open so that if the other person needed to truly talk with you, you haven’t burned the bridge.
To answer the question, I think simply that anything that does not further the Kingdom of God is a foolish discussion. Now that doesn’t mean we have to only discuss the church, I think it means that we need to look at where the discussion is heading in our hearts, is it bringing us closer to Him, or serving as a barrier? I can discuss a hobby with someone, and that is not necessarily foolish because it can bring me closer to them, but if we never move on from that topic, or that topic overshadows my ability to witness or live a life of witness, it becomes foolish.
Chris,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. I am delighted that you find the blog helpful! I appreciate your focus on the heart, too.
Thank you brother. And great thoughts Chris.
I think a foolish a foolish controversy is one which is about a minor issue that does not impact anyone’s life in any significant manner. We should spend our time and energy on what matters. We want to stay focused on what matters and not get distracted. 2 Timothy 2: 14 – 26.
Great passage, Rich!
Thank you!
What is the difference between a “foolish” controversy and one that is not foolish?
If someone were to attack me personally I am free to turn away and ignore the incident. If another expresses a false doctrine as truth, I could interact with them or ignore, avoid them. If someone is engaging in either of these with other believers, I would become involved, immediately with biblical truth as appropriate for the setting.
Luke 23:8-9, Matthew 23:4, Titus 1:11
Ron,
You, too, have some interesting passages today.
Thank you!