Ephesians 5: 21 — A Marriage Blessing

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Summary: Weddings are an exciting time. They mark a point in life where everything changes. My prayer for the two people getting married today is that this change opens the door to an abundance of blessings from God. 

Today is a very special day for me and my wife. My youngest son is marrying a wonderful young woman. They both bring us great joy, and we are excited to witness their marriage vows.

In honor of this happy occasion, I thought it would be appropriate to visit Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. In it, he writes about marriage.

Paul is not sharing his opinion in this passage. He writes as an emissary of Jesus. He is careful to distinguish between when he speaks on behalf of Jesus and what he offers as his own opinion (See 1 Corinthians 7:25). When he writes, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” he is speaking for Christ.

Why is this important?

The world teaches that we should look to our own “needs” first. (We wrote about this in “2 Peter 1:7a — A Tale of Two Pyramids”) The problem with this approach is that we are very “needy” people. If life is all about “me, me, me,” there is no room for anyone else. Two people who are looking out for their own self-interest first will invariably disappoint a companion who does not share their interest.

The Greek word “hypotassō,” translated as “submit,” is very clear in its meaning. It means to put yourself under the other, to obey, to submit one’s self rather than promote one’s self.

Submission to another person is not natural. It is all well and good when each person gets what they want, and everything feels warm and fuzzy. It is entirely something else when self-interest rises up and what you want as an individual becomes dominant. Whose job is more important? Who gets what they want more often? Who has more stuff? Who gets to decide where to live?

I hope these questions are never a problem in their marriage, but just in case, it is good to remember the rest of Paul’s sentence: “… out of reverence for Christ.”

In John 13: 1-17, we see Jesus at the Passover meal with his disciples. Jesus had just entered Jerusalem as a king celebrated by all the people. The man was at the pinnacle of his popularity. The disciples were, no doubt, impressed. Yet their teacher, the man hailed as “King of the Jews,” unexpectedly got up from the table and washed his disciples’ feet.

We do not have a modern corollary for this practice today. Washing feet was a servant’s job. It would be like visiting a friend’s house and having someone you do not know meet you at the door. Before you see your friend, they take you aside and make you look your best, just like getting ready to be married. Only when you look like you are ready to step into the lights of a movie set, do they take you to see your friend. Oh, and there is no cost for all of this. They do it because they are servants.

This selfless giving is only possible if we have Christ in our hearts. When the God of all Creation has stooped down to clean up every mess you have ever made in your life and made you look like a movie star, so you look acceptable, it is hard not to be humbled and thankful. It is also hard not to do the same for others.

My prayer for the newlyweds is that Jesus Christ has a place in their home. Specifically, that his love and sacrifice are alive in both of these beautiful people who are pledging their lives to each other today.

Application: Please pray for these two wonderful people being married today. 

Food for Thought: How does submitting to one another honor Jesus?