A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
Summary: This verse seems simple on its face, and yet there are infinite complexities associated with human relationships. Focusing on our heavenly Father eases much of the confusion.
As we read this verse, I am acutely aware that not all father-son relationships are joyous. Some are, but many are marred by emotional scars. So perhaps the best way to understand this verse is in light of Psalm 89: 26,
“He will call out to me, ‘You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Savior.’”
Later, Malachi asks rhetorically, “Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us?” (Malachi 2:10)
Jesus says about himself, “No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father.” (John 6:46) Then he adds, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.” (John 14: 9)
Perhaps when we talk about our father, it is best to bypass our human father and go directly to our Father in heaven.
As we have discussed before, the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). The wise son fears the Lord, and because he fears the Lord, he obeys his commandment to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20: 12)
And so we return to our human parents. “Honor your father and mother.”
There is an ironic circle here, a web within a web. If a human father is not in relationship with our heavenly Father, then a son who honors the Father might not be pleasing to his earthly father. Yet, if we are in relationship with God, then when we have children of our own, we find joy in our own children who choose wisdom over folly.
Application: In all circumstances, it is best to honor our Father in Heaven.
Food for Thought: Why does a foolish son grieve his mother?
Think of a mama bear. She’d do anything to protect her cub. Imagine a foolish son in a situation where mama bear comes out and is protective…. Then come to find out his part in the situation, grieves mom, shames her, disappoints her.
Think of the culture. The sons were to grow up and take care of the household in the place of their father, especially the heir/firstborn. A foolish son wastes money, leaves things in disrepair, can’t think past today, can’t think past himself. Mom grieves for her son’s future, and her own.
Think of emotional pain. Emotions can cause more pain than physical ailment. Just from loving her son, every foolish action becomes a wound that gushes invisibly. Trying to close it with her hands she expects to see blood on them, but there isn’t. No one can see the scars from loving a foolish son….. But they’re there.
A –
Thank you for a deep and thoughtful perspective on today’s question. Well said!
Great response A. Well said. The emotional scars of watching your child self destruct is a pain to which only those in that situation can relate.
04-10-2022, Proverbs 10:1, Why does a foolish son grieve his mother?
Having a child must be a monumental event for a woman who is transformed from a woman into a mother. Her family may see her special glow, the growth of her belly, make her the center of attention at all family events, but only she can feel the child growing inside her for 9 months, recall the pains of childbirth, the joy of first holding the fruit of her womb and the many hours spent caring for this helpless being after the child’s birth.
A normal mother will live in a world of hopes and dreams for the success of this gift from God, will not cease to love, but will definitely grieve foolish acts of this child given to her by God.
Thank you, Ron.
The mother / child bond is unique indeed!