… be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Summary: Patience, long-suffering, and perseverance are all words that describe what Paul is trying to tell us in this passage.
As if being humble and gentle were not enough, Paul has to add another attribute that is essential to unity in the church; patience.
Patience, of course, is that attribute of the Christian life that everyone jokes about. “Don’t pray for patience!” is a common refrain almost always followed by laughter. Everyone seems to know that asking for patience is an easy request for God to fill. The prayer is universally answered by the nature of our very existence — trials in the natural world that try our patience.
The Greek word for “patience” is often rendered “long-suffering.” The word “long-suffering” brings to mind another joke I used to hear as a kid. My grandparents immigrated from Norway and Sweden, so my parents were closely connected to the stories of the “Old Country” my family had come from.
Times were hard in the Old Country. Norway and Sweden are relatively small countries and geographically rugged. Carving out agrarian life on rocky soil is hard, assuming you can even find property to buy. What little property was available for farming was mostly tied up by the family tradition of giving the farm to the oldest child. The rest had to fend for themselves, and there were few options. The result was that life was hard, which is why people were motivated to come to the New Country, America.
When they got here, life was hard, too. But it was different. My dad’s parents rented a house for a long time. My dad told me they fought a lot over money issues. The problem was that they didn’t have any! Eventually, they bought an old run-down house and started working together to fix it up. Working together brought them together, and in later years, they didn’t fight as much. Things were getting better.
The difference was that in America, they at least had hope. Eventually, hope turned into owning a house of their own. After years of hard work, the house they owned was transformed from a run-down shack into a beautiful little home. In between were the years of “patience,” only in their case, “long-suffering” was a better description. The word “patience” suggests a willingness to suffer, while “long-suffering” describes suffering over a long period of time. I suppose it boils down to another word sometimes used to describe what Paul is saying; “perseverance.”
Which brings me back to my second joke.
When someone used to complain about things being hard, we often heard the advice, “Do like they do in the Old Country — suffer.” No matter how bad things were, hearing those words was a reminder that suffering was not a new thing. Everyone suffers! That didn’t make it any easier, but it did help me to persevere.
“Bearing with one another in love” means we put up with a lot of crap. Everybody has bad days. Each of us has our weak moments. Sometimes weak moments turn into weeks or years. To avoid this, we need to include God in the process: Reading his Word, praying about the challenges, and listening to his Spirit.
Application: Remember, however bad things are, they could be worse!
Food for Thought: How does our attitude toward suffering impact our real suffering?
How does our attitude toward suffering impact our real suffering?
I believe this is an important follow up question because I find people can be long-suffering but never find peace about that which they suffered. The difference is in their attitude or even perspective about it.
Two attitudes that come to mind are of preparation and consequence.
I believe we suffer sometimes to prepare the heart for greater intervention in others lives. In the works we are able to accomplish for others, or the words of substance were are able to offer to others. You can read small quotes from people who suffered, and the small quote is insightful, intense, and inspiring. It shifts your thinking 1 degree toward the right. In 10 years that 1 degree results in you being miles away from where you were. Someone elses suffering then changed your life. Jesus suffered greatly on the way to and during the crucifixion. Yet He said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” His suffering testified to His love. I hear people use the phrase “He laid down His life” but it was beaten out of Him. With every step and every breath Christ had to persevere, He knew our eternal salvation was at stake, and was willing to die for us. His suffering was the fire that burned away all pretensions, and what was left was true love, true willingness, true sacrifice.
There is also suffering for consequence. Your sufferings is a result of your own actions. I do have things I suffer as a result of my own actions, and sometimes I get tired of the consequences and get that “urr, urr” feeling inside. I pray about it and am reminnded of why I suffer and find humility instead of anger. I feel that it serves as a reminder not to return to sin, perhaps also helping me not follow a path to new sin.
Either way, if you view your suffering as something happening to you, and can only talk about it, the work is for nothing. If you view your suffering as something happening for you, and allow it to move you in life, then God can use it to help you and help you to help others.
Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit,
but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Chris,
Interesting thoughts! Suffering as a form of God’s preparation is a hard thing to accept, but there is merit in what you say. Of course, most of us have a lot of experience with the suffering as consequence option. 🙂
06-14-2023, How does our attitude toward suffering impact our real suffering?
As the old saying goes, “ When life gives you lemons, make Lemon Aid.”
Christian’s suffering will ultimately result in a hope that won’t put us to shame. But we do not go directly from suffering to hope. For some, suffering leads to rebellion and anger, crushing our hope, not building it, and some will shake their fists as they in anger ask, “Is this how a good God treats His children?”
If we view times of suffering as a negative thing, we make yourselves a victim of this world. We feel like a failure and suffering becomes much harder to cope with. When we understand, accept and embrace suffering as a gift from our Sovereign Lord, one of many paths we take toward maturity, the elements of unfairness and negativity associated with it will disappear as they are replaced, embraced as opportunities to grow in faith.
“We rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” Romans 5:3–5, also Romans 8:31-32
Ron,
Thank you for pointing out how our attitude toward suffering affects its impact on our lives. In effect, we get to choose whether suffering is a good thing or a bad one. Well said!
James 1: 2 – 4 gives some of the best advice for our attitude in suffering (which should not surprise anyone because it is Scripture). I like that it tells us to rejoice in suffering, not because we are to be masochistic, but because it is being used by God to produce spiritual maturity. If we can keep that in perspective as we go through trials, which admittedly is not easy, it may help us to cooperate with God’s good purpose in the trial that we face. Attitude does matter.
“…you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
(James 1:3)
Thanks Rich! This passage helps to see suffering as a “good” thing and supports the other’s comments well.