Instead, speaking the truth in love …
Summary: Some phrases in the Bible set off alarms with this writer. Today’s passage is one of them. We need to carefully consider the nature of truth and the meaning of love to avoid misapplying Paul’s instruction.
If you have ever watched an old WWII submarine movie, you will remember what happens when a submarine is patrolling on the surface and see an enemy ship. A loud AH-OO-GA horn starts blaring, and everyone starts running around like crazy. Anybody “topside” has to get inside quickly and close the hatch. Everyone goes to battle stations. All the while, AH-OO-GA, AH-OO-GA, is blaring throughout the ship while the Captain yells, “Dive! Dive! Dive!” over the PA system.
That is how I feel when I read this verse.
“Why?” you ask. Let me explain …
The words Paul wrote are perfectly good. Unfortunately, they are sometimes misapplied. Speaking “truth in love” is not an excuse to tell people what you think about them. God is not giving us permission to judge others without first taking the plank out of our own eye (Matthew 7:4-5).
The “truth” Paul is talking about is the same truth Christ called the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers to share and instruct us in. It is God’s truth, not man’s.
God’s truth is all about what God thinks is right and wrong. That is all that matters. What I think doesn’t count for beans, so if I start telling you how to live your life without first anchoring my words in Scripture and Love, run!
Remember what love is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)
God’s will, of course, is all about love. (Matthew 22:37-40)
Speaking “truth in love” is about honoring God and being patient, kind, humble, protective, trusting, and hopeful when we deal with our brothers and sisters. Speaking truth is about pointing people to God and his Scriptures.
Speaking truth in love is not only about speaking words. It is about living them, too. That is hard to do. Just ask Jesus.
People sometimes point to the way Jesus spoke to the Pharisees as an example of speaking “truth in love,” and they would be right. But there is a big difference between that situation and any situation you or I will ever encounter. Jesus is God. He is the ultimate authority for Israel. The Pharisees were supposed to be representing God on earth, but instead, they had descended into a state of self-serving greed. They still had authority, but they were abusing it. Jesus was the source of their authority, and they refused to acknowledge him.
We are never THE authority. The Bible is, but we are not. If the Holy Spirit speaks to us and reveals a truth, it must be presented in the light of Scripture and with the humility of Love. If we have a disagreement in the church, it is good to defer to God first, others second, and ourselves third.
Application: Speaking “truth in love” is not a club used to beat people into submission, it is one servant talking to another with compassion, humility, and love.
Food for Thought: What are some of the consequences of avoiding speaking truth in love in the church setting?
Very good thoughts this morning!
To speak truth in love requires one to know the truth. The whole truth. Not just the part that fits one’s perspective. To recieve the truth takes prayer and meditation. We are humbled by the truth. In that humblness, we then have boldness to speak the truth in love. Boldness is not brash, it is confident; without fear but not without restraint. It is that complexity of Christ’s charactor that fascinates me; calls to me.
There is this concept of a “truth bomb.” More like a grenade, one drops “a truth” on someone and runs away. I reject the concept that such a thing is good. I believe if you are going to speak a truth, then you need to prepare yourself to stick around after, or be available in the future. Make a commitment to the truth. That requires preparation. Preparation in the presence of the Father. Whether it be preparations for truths you believe about your life, all lives, or a specific area of someone elses life. Giving the truth means the truth lives in us, is a part of us, and giving it then means giving a part of ourselves.
What are some of the consequences of avoiding speaking truth in love in the church setting?
As believers in the body, we should build each other up, build up the body. Not speaking truth in love may shake someone’s confidence, make them fear that they are lesser than, or makes them fear potential hurt. Preparing your heart with God, understanding what the whole truth is, and speaking in love brings us all closer to God together. We can all have confidence in His truth.
John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Thank you, Chris!
I appreciate the extra perspective on this topic. I especially like, “Boldness is not brash!” That is an important distinction!
Thanks brother. And thank you CH. Great thoughts this morning. I agree, speaking the truth in love should not be wielded as a tool to have permission to hurt people. Likewise, the opposite concern is present at the same time. While the church body can misuse speaking truth in love by using it as a club (not much love there), it can also say that because we love others we will not speak the truth of God’s word. This is not loving either.
There is a correct way to speak truth that builds others up (Ephesians 4: 29) and helps them to correct behavior or thoughts to align with God’s word (2 Timothy 3: 16). Our motives should be to edify and build another up because we care about them.
I had a mentor who once told me that there are two people who will tell you the truth – those who hate you and those who love you, there is just a big difference in how they will tell you. He then went on to say he loved me and proceeded to tell me something I didn’t want to hear, but needed to hear. He told me the truth in love and it helped me in my walk with Christ.
Thank you, Rich!
Well said! You bring to mind an aspect of this topic that is very important — there are things we need to hear but don’t want to hear. I think this is a key to humility; knowing that each of us have a blind spot hiding our own flaws. Because we all are vulnerable in that regard, we need to be very cautious when we prod someone else in their blind spot.
On my model a perfect ahooga horn was hard to get perfect. However everyone loved a Model A. Every one wanted to hear that horn. Just the opposite!
Hi Tim!!
Yeah… The difference is when the AH-OO-GA horn is on a Model A, you get in and yell “Drive! Drive! Drive!” instead of “Dive! Dive! Dive!”
🙂
07-01-2023, What are some of the consequences of avoiding speaking truth in love in the church setting?
A consequence is, God’s truth could become contaminated by false teachings, while compromise and disunity could destroy the church.
This is another HUGE question. As we seek to be the effective part of the body of Christ, THE CHURCH on earth, 24-7. Speaking in truth and love must increasingly become part of each of our lives as we grow in Christ.
All believers are called to conform to the image of Christ and to serve as salt and light in the world. He is our power to speak in love.
Romans 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 2:16, Philippians 2:5, Matthew 5:13-16
God’s word is spoken with love to all, received as this by those who would seek Him and is our sword as we battle evil. The Holy Spirit is our power to know and appropriately apply this to every situation of our daily lives
Matthew 4:1-11, Ephesians 6:10-18
False teachings are to be confronted.
Matthew 23, Mark 12:38-40, Luke 11:37-52, 20:45-47
We also see there is a time to be silent with those outside the church.
Matthew 26:63, 27:17, 27:14, Mark 15:5. Luke 23:9, John 19:9
Ephesians 2:8-10, For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ultimately, our silence in certain situations means we are practicing self-control. Maintaining our composure can be challenging as we seek wisdom in controlling our tongue and are ultimately walking by the Spirit by displaying self-control, a fruit of the Spirit, a discipline blessed by God.
Galatians 5:22
Ron,
Excellent research on this topic! And you are right, the Bible confronts us with a lot of HUGE questions. They are very important, and as you point out, the consequences are serious. Sadly, we can see the result of avoiding this question in many mainstream churches today.
God is using your ” God Created ” inquisitive mind to take all readers into areas we might not normally consider.
Thanks for sharing with us Brother!
Ron
Thanks, Ron!
I am deeply grateful for you and all my other companions on this journey!! PTL!