[Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths] … but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Summary: How should we use this power of the tongue? God tells us to use it for good, not evil.
“So what should we talk about?”
Have you ever been asked that question? Not everyone is gifted at making small talk, and not everyone welcomes it. Even with people we know well, finding something to talk about can be a challenge. Sometimes all we have to share is silence.
Some people are afraid of silence. They talk compulsively, not because they have something important to say but because they fear what others might say or think. When we talk to make noise, people don’t listen. Instead, we “tune out” the talker.
Is talking to make noise unwholesome?
It is hard to imagine the chronic talker building others up or benefiting those who listen. But what about other kinds of talking? What about the coworker who complains about everything? How about the boss who uses their position to make others feel small?
Being a constructive talker takes work. We have to care about the person we are talking with. We have to listen more than we talk.
James, writing about making vows and promises, says:
“But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” (James 5:12, ESV)
In this passage, James attests to the power of words. “Be careful!” he seems to say, “A single word can get you into trouble!” Likewise, Proverbs is full of references to the power of words:
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words.” (Proverbs 18:21, NOG)
“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)
Paul wants us to be aware of this power and to use our power for good, not evil. And what is “good?” My “go to” verse for defining good is always Jesus’ summation of the entire Law and Prophets:
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22: 37-39)
If we speak words of love to God and speak to others as we want them to speak to us, we are doing well. Sometimes, the good we desire is as simple as a kind word. Sharing that good with others is always a benefit to those who listen.
Application: Be aware of the words that come out of your mouth and the power they have. Use them for good.
Food for Thought: What does who we listen to say about who we are?
If who we are listening to is our choice, I think it says a lot. If we choose to listen to wholesome talk the chances are higher that we will do likewise. I have found that kindness can be contagious, but so can gossip. I Corinthians 15: 33.
Of course, to shine the light of Christ into the darkness it means we need to go into the darkness. But light should transform darkness, not the other way around. Romans 12: 2
Rich,
What a wonderful illustration of faith in action! Light should transform the darkness and God’s true light shining through us does just that! 🙂
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)
07-22-2022, What does who we listen to say about who we are?
We live in a world of growing commitment to evil, insanity and every perversion conceived by mankind. At the same time, God is calling out to all mankind, offering the one way to peace, and holy living through His Son Jesus Christ.
Our Lord has given all mankind, eyes to see and ears to hear. He is actively revealing the truth regarding sin, righteousness, and coming judgement to all, and everyone will receive the fruit of their choice.
Proverbs 20:12, We all have ears that hear and eyes that see, the LORD has made them both.
John 16:8, When He comes, He will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment.
My family and I have chosen to live our lives separated from this world and seek to spend as much time as possible with the Lord, a life in but not of this world.
We have a community mailbox and one evening I was walking to the box for my mail. A man was walking toward me and he stopped me at the box, asked if I had a minute, I told him of course. He told me he had been diagnosed with cancer, and was going in for more testing. He said he knew I was a Christian and asked if I would pray for him. I said of course, and put my arms around him as we bowed our heads and I prayed for him. Two years have passed and I attended a neighborhood gathering where this same man came up to me and asked If I remembered him. I said of course. He told me how much that moment on the sidewalk had meant to him, and when he went back to his doctor there was no cancer. Praise God!
Two nights ago my wife and I attended a house warming with a group of non-believers, this morning I received an E-mail from a man I had spoken with, he explained his opinion regarding life decisions and asked me if I would respond with my thoughts regarding his. I will prayerfully reply with the truth as I see it later today.
Seek a walk with God in everything we do. We will stumble from time to time, however we will be on a path of progressive transformation into a child of God. Let the world do what it will do and focus on keeping our priorities straight.
Ron,
Thank you for sharing your stories today. I love the example you give of neighbors seeking out the Light that they see in you and your wife. I pray that God continues to use both of you for many years to come! 🙂
I tend to be a quiet person. In fact, when I can’t think of the right thing to say, or can’t hear well, I instinctively switch to movement. My mom almost always knew what the movements meant so I forget sometimes how ‘less than helpful’ my instincts are.
I used to love the verse Proverbs 10:19 “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.” I thought how good it was that I never said much…. I even thought that I must sin less because of it! Really only changes what type of sin….. As I got older, I talk more. When I hear a lot come out of my mouth I start to think that I must be sinning a lot.
I often think, “If I could stop talking so much, I’d be better” but alas, I haven’t stopped up my mouth yet. Sometimes I think if I stopped up my emotions I’d be better.
To answer your question…. sometimes I think if I stopped up my ears I’d be better.
Yet, that’s not how life work. If you stop everything up, you start by hurting yourself. Then you hurt others. Then you handicap your ability to do God’s will, because he made you with eyes and ears and feelings etc. If He has a plan for you without one of those, He’ll take something away.
Sometimes, I call myself spoiled. I think I have too much. But isn’t that a bad response to God’s will? If I’m spoiled it means I’m using my gifts wrong, not that I shouldn’t have gotten them.
….I think I’ve drifted into journal entry territory…
A –
My thoughts on your words:
Proverbs 10:19 applies to everyone equally. (Jesus, of course, was the exception!)
If we acknowledge God, we are going to have to wrestle with this at some level. The reason I posed the question about who we listen to was to get us to focus on what others say as well as what we say. Do we listen to wholesome talk or the unwholesome kind?
It makes a difference!
Thank you for sharing your meditation! 🙂