But the fruit of the Spirit is … forbearance …
Summary: Forbearance is a banker’s word. When we find out why, we discover another aspect of God’s love for us.
I was going to begin by making a joke about Yogi Bear and how “pic-a-nic baskets” are “for bear,” but in the end, I decided I had better “forbear” making jokes.
You’re welcome! 🙃😊
Forbearance is a word that is not part of our everyday vocabulary. It is, however, still in use. Lawyers and bankers use the term to describe holding off on foreclosing on a mortgage until arrangements can be made to catch up on payments. The word means to “hold back.”
In God’s case, he has practiced forbearance for centuries. He “holds back” on punishing us for breaking his laws (Matthew 22: 37-40). Instead, he continues to love and call us into a relationship with his Son, Jesus Christ. Through Jesus, we find ourselves reunited with our Father and Creator.
So why is forbearance one of the fruits of the Spirit?
The opposite of forbearance would be the instant resolution of any inequity. If someone accidentally stepped on your toe, instant equity would mean stepping on their toe back. This might work if we had God’s ability to know what is in people’s hearts.
If we could see the hurt we caused when we stepped on the toe, we would understand why the other person would cause us pain in return. If we could “see” the pain we caused, feeling the pain they caused would make sense. Instead of anger, our reaction might be, “Okay, we are even now.”
But we do not see what God sees. We can’t know how much we have hurt someone else.
If I step on your toe, I have no idea how much or how little it hurts. All I know is that if you step on my toe … OUCH! It hurts!! It doesn’t matter if I hurt you first.
But what happens if I don’t forbear?
If I’m hurting and all I can think of is “getting even,” then I’m going to hurt you more than you hurt me. You hurt me back, and suddenly, we find ourselves reliving the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s feud.
Forbearance is holding off and letting things cool down. Forbearance is remembering to forgive hurt, just like God forgives us when we hurt him. Forbearance is remembering how much God has forgiven and not falling into the trap of the ‘Ungrateful Servant” (Matthew 18:21-35).
The flesh wants justice, but it is not a godly justice. The flesh wants to be the one to decide what justice is.
The Spirit wants justice, too, but only for those who reject God’s Son, Jesus. If God were a banker, he would hold back on foreclosure for those who believe. In a very real sense, Jesus gives us a new lease on life.
Application: Forbear when it hurts.
Food for Thought: How is forbearance different than patience?
Patience is giving grace. I think the best description of grace I have heard is “the expression of good will.” So, patience is expressing good will towards others despite the disposition (maturity) or condition (circumstances) of both parties. Forbearance is having patience under provocation. Provocation is the expression of ill will towards someone. Forbearance is expressing good will towards another despite that person’s expression of ill will.
In other words:
Luke 6:27-31 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.
And why are we to forbear this for Christ (Note: as He did)
Luke 6:36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Patience fortifies forbearance, and forbearance gives life to mercy. Mercy is not a feeling, mercy is action. Just as God has mercy for us, He sent His son to pay our debt so that we could be reunited in Him. In mercy for others, through forbearance, fortified in patience, we are able to express in word and deed the kind of love for others that God expresses for us.
Chris,
I like how you handled this. I agree that patience is a form of grace. I have to admit, though, that I had never thought of it that way before. I guess you might say, based on what you have shown us, that forbearance is grace under pressure. 🙂
How is forbearance different than patience?
Forbearance focuses on interpersonal relationships and the ability to navigate through difficult people or circumstances with understanding and grace. Forbearance is an expression of God’s abundant mercy towards all humanity. His forbearance enables us to extend understanding toward ourselves and others, as we mirror the way God interacts with us, rather than retaliating in the face of offense. Through the Holy Spirit believers are empowered to choose forbearance even when it feels challenging or unfair.
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” – Luke 6:35
Patience, emphasizes enduring steadfastly in the face of delays or trials, trusting that God has a greater purpose and plan. The ability to maintain composure and endure without losing hope. Patience requires perseverance and trust in God’s timing and plan, as we endure hardship, waiting for God’s perfect resolution, an active choice to trust in God’s faithfulness and goodness, even during times of uncertainty.
Ron,
I like that you point out that patience is waiting on God’s timing. That really speaks to the nature of faith; trusting God to make sure things are working out as he planned.
I also like how you couched forbearance as something related to interpersonal relationships.
Nicely done! Thank you!