Do not lie to each other …
Summary: Wondering about white lies leads us to wonder about the nature of truth as well.
The “Food for Thought” question at the end of the last meditation was, “Are ‘white lies’ okay in church?” This sparked comments that raised more questions.
The consensus in the comments was that we shouldn’t tell “white lies.” Lies are the province of the devil, the “father of lies” (John 8:44). Ergo, Christians should avoid lies of any kind. I agree, but what does that mean?
One of the verses offered as guidance was Paul’s admonishment for us to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). As I reflected on this, I thought it might be worth our time to explore the question more deeply. The devil, as they say, “is in the details.”
Let’s first look at what Paul said that started all of this. He said, “Do not lie to each other…” The word “lie” is translated from the Greek word “pseúdomai” which Strong’s Concordance defines as an “attempt to deceive by falsehood.” The intention to deceive is very important here.
If I see you in church and you are not dressed as nicely as I think you should be, is it a “lie” not to tell you what I think? Wouldn’t it be more “loving” to tell the “truth?”
Paul’s use of the word “truth” in Ephesians refers to God’s truth, not our own. Our human truth is subjective. It changes as we change. God is unchanging (Hebrews 6:17). This is why Scripture tells us to “trust in the Lord” and “lean not on [our] own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
When Paul talks about “lies,” he is not referring to keeping our opinions to ourselves. In fact, he encourages us to, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4). He also counsels us to be careful what comes out of our mouths and make sure it is “helpful for building others up” (Ephesians 4:29).
The “intention to deceive” is a very specific kind of lie. If someone flatters a person with the intention of manipulating them, that is deception. If we represent ourselves as something we are not, that, too, is a deception.
The honesty that Paul wants us to share is a truth that reflects God’s truth, not our own. It is the truth of God’s love, not the limitations of our human perspective. The “lie” we are to avoid is more than words, it is the intention to deceive.
Application: Do not deceive each other, but speak God’s truth in love.
Food for Thought: How are “lies” and “deception” the same and different?
“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!”
Well said, Gary! Well said! 🙂
How are “lies” and “deception” the same and different?
Lying is intentionally providing false information or making false statements to deceive others. A direct act of misrepresentation, where the truth is intentionally concealed or distorted.
Deception is a broader term that encompasses tactics and strategies used to mislead or manipulate others. It can involve lying, withholding information, using half-truths, or employing other forms of trickery to create a false perception or impression.
Deception and lying are both forms of dishonesty, but differ in their approach and intent. Both are condemned by our Lord.
Proverbs 30:8, Keep deception and lies far from me. Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion,
Psalm 101:7, He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house; He who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me.
Great verses, Ron!
Thank you!
I can tell the truth in such a way as to mislead someone. The desire to deceive goes to motives while a truth or a lie goes to relaying factual information.
The question gets tricky. If an SS agent of the Nazi regime showed up to your door asking if you were hiding any Jews (and you were), would you tell the truth? This, of course, is a famous old hypothetical scenario. I for one would not, because I know if I told the truth it would be tantamount to murder. So I guess I would be deceiving the officer who would seek to murder someone. Even if I found a way not to lie to the officer, I still want them leaving thinking I had no person I was hiding. That is deception.
I can justify it because in the face of a murderer I need to protect the innocent and that is the best I can do in my limited human capacity.
The problem with the scenario is I can use such an argument to justify other deception that is more self serving.
My point: it is a heart matter and it is what is in the heart that becomes a problem.
Matthew 15: 16 – 20: “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
Jeremiah 17: 9 – 10: The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
10“I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
according to what their deeds deserve.”
Thank you, Rich.
That is a fair question and an interesting scenario. Your comment makes me wonder if Paul is thinking in the context of the family of believers, or if he is considering situations like the one you posit.
Deception is in the heart, and its manfested in the mouth as lies. It can be a direct falsehood, or one of omission. It can be spur of the moment or part of a greater stragegy. The intent is to mask the truth in some capacity for personal gain. So to answer the question, I think deception would be the root, and lies would be a fruit. One can also “live a lie” without speaking a word.
I keep thinking about my teenage years and “wording” my permissions in a way as to mask the whole ask. The words of my request were factual, but not in “full disclosure” of the whole truth. Definately a deception. I also spent too much time as a adult projecting a certain image that wasnt indicitive of who I really was inside. At home, at church. The only antidote to that life was facing the truth. A truth that I could not face alone, but in Christ, a truth that now brings me a relationship with Him and the hope that He gives.
Chris,
You have a nice way with words! I like, “deception would be the root, and lies would be a fruit.” 🙂
How are “lies” and “deception” the same and different?
My comment from yesterday’s post reflects my thoughts. My answer follows to love our God first then our church brother and sisters and our neighbors above ourselves ( not adding to scripture just personal thought ) you have to take a moment to really think about the lie more so than beyond the effects you normally would think, beyond yourself. How does this lie glorify God? How can this lie bring you further away from God? It comes down to the heart and intention I believe that Jesus doesn’t like lies, but He does have compassion and understanding. This is a fallen world and to say that we don’t live by it in some way is a lie. The devil is very cunning. I ask God for wisdom knowledge and understanding for all of us to guide all that we do to glorify Him. That is my final answer.
Tim,
There is a lot of wisdom and understanding in your comment here. Thank you!