Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Summary: Paul is giving advice to married couples, and while it may sound like he is stating the obvious, a closer examination shows us more of what he means.
I feel like all I need to say for this meditation is, “Yeah, husband, lighten up!” But it is more complicated than that, isn’t it?
“Love” is a word that is horribly overused in our society. The Greeks used many different words to describe various kinds of love. All of them were different!
The word Paul uses here is “agapáō” (agapáō is the verb form of agapé). This is considered the highest form of love possible. God’s love is selfless and sacrificial, and that is the kind of love God wants husbands to show their wives.
When I think about God’s perfect knowledge and ability, I imagine he looks down on me and you with the patient sigh of a person whose new puppy has just chewed up their favorite slippers. Men and women are different for a reason just like all people are different. Whether the difference is personality or gender doesn’t change the fact that we are and always will be different.
The challenge is not to argue or threaten someone into submission, but rather to drive our own ego into submission. When we put God first in our lives (Matthew 22:37-40), we automatically take a back seat where we find ourselves on equal footing before God with our mate. The difference is that we are not equal. Christian husbands have a duty to provide for their bride, just as Jesus provides for his.
How did Jesus provide for his bride?
The history of Abraham’s children is the history of the Lord’s bride. If you read through the Old Testament, you will see that it is not a pretty one.
In spite of Israel’s unfaithfulness, God still wanted her as a bride for his Son. So, he sent Jesus to claim her for himself. Instead of accepting her bridegroom, Israel killed him by hanging him on a cross.
As Jesus hung from the nails that held him to the cross, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
That is love. That is making a sacrifice, accepting the pain, and still wanting the best for your bride.
We don’t have to hang on a cross to demonstrate love, but there are days when it might feel like we are. That is okay. It is part of God’s plan. In fact, there is no better time to show her you love her.
Application: Love, even when it hurts.
Food for Thought: How does sacrificial love impact a marriage relationship?
Well, I’m not married, but I once was, and I’ll say this from my part, not alluding to anything she may have done or have felt. I can tell you that the absence of sacrificial love impacts a marriage by creating two different people competing for control of the other. Ultimately, without sacrificial love, one ends up showing the worst of who they can. Patience and kindness are forsaken, and envy, arrogance, insistence, and resentment become a daily way of life. Worst of all, all hope leaves the marriage. Both parties become prisoners.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The smallest seed of sacrificial love has a great impact. It is most effective when given freely, without condition, and in the absence of expectation.
Chris,
That is a powerful testimony. I hope you have opportunity to help others with that power. Thank you!
Excellent comments and insight CH. Thank you for being vulnerable about your experience.
Sacrificial love puts the other first and creates a scenario in which they know they are loved and they are secure in the relationship. But it is so hard to do. Simple, but not easy.
Thank you, Rich.
Amen! Simple is NOT the same as easy! 🙂
How does sacrificial love impact a marriage relationship?
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25
God always seeks what is best for His people and not only teaches we serve one another, but did in fact ordain His Son Jesus Christ come to earth, clothed in flesh, as our example. Believers have been given the power of Christ and are called to allow Him to be the power to serve others through us.
Men are called to begin allowing God to serve others in our home, in our relationship with our wives. In time this will become a life of Christ serving each in our marriage, and will grow into a life of allowing Christ to love and serve others as God brings them into our lives.
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Galatians 5:13
Thank you, Ron.
I like how you point this to Christ serving us and others through our lives. Well said!