Let your conversation be always full of grace …
Summary: Paul admonishes us to fill our conversations with outsiders with grace. While that sounds simple, understanding what grace means requires some reflection on our Lord Jesus.
This verse is important because it is the last verse of instruction in Paul’s letter to the Colossians. Everything after this involves personal business. So, let’s savor what this last sentence has to offer.
The larger context of this passage is how we act towards “others.” My understanding of “others” in this context is people “other than” the believers who are already part of the church body. When Paul says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace …” he is talking about conversations with those who might need more grace.
So, what does “grace” mean?
In its simplest form, “grace” is being nice to someone. It is a way of acting and speaking that leaves the person you are talking to glad you stopped by.
If we look at grace from a spiritual perspective, it is the “merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues.”*
Grace is the sunshine after a rain shower. It is the joy of God’s goodness echoing in the words of a believer as they speak.
Conversation is where grace comes into play.
Conversation is not just about the words we say but also the words we don’t say. It is also about how we listen. On top of all this, it is about who we choose to converse with.
Jesus was famous for this.
In one story, Jesus is invited to the house of a Pharisee to have dinner (Luke 7:36-50). Simon comes across as a bit of a snob in the story, but Jesus doesn’t mind. Meanwhile, a “sinful” woman comes and huddles at Jesus’ feet. While Simon is turning up his nose at her, she is quietly sobbing, washing Jesus’ feet with her tears.
Jesus is gracious to both.
Later, Jesus is taken captive and unjustly accused before Annas, the father-in-law of Caiaphas. When he answers a question he has been asked, one of the men standing near him strikes him in the face.
Did Jesus yell at the man? Did he curse in frustration? Did the injustice of the situation cause his blood to boil?
None of these things happened. He simply said, “[If] I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?”
Cool under pressure, polite to his enemies, and forgiving towards sinners. In all these things, Jesus teaches us grace.
Application: Learn from Jesus.
Food for Thought: How is listening a sign of grace?
* “G5463 – chairō – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (niv).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 10 Apr, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g5463/niv/mgnt/0-1/>.
How is listening a sign of grace?
To quietly listen to another person is to recognize they exist, and give value to the words they speak.
Listening does not come naturally:
He that is of God hears God’s words: you therefore hear not, because you are not of God. John 8:47
God listens to us:
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:12
Jesus listened to His Father;
For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. John 6:38
We start by listening to God.
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
Sharing the Gospel gives us reason to listen;
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Acts 1:8
Scripture equips us to listen and share with others.
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. 2 Timothy 2:2
Nicely said, Ron!
Thank you!!
Thanks R2T2. You covered this well.
We had a meeting at the church this week that was a listening tour. The government branch was to listen to any concerns local citizens had. Several Christians showed up. In fact, from what I could tell almost every attendant was a believer. And I was impressed by the grace shown. The officials didn’t listen a whole lot. They talked a whole lot. What they were saying were things most people didn’t want to hear. Yet it remained civil and kind. And people listened. I did come away thinking a lot of grace was shown and a lot of restraint was practiced. Hopefully it was a good testimony in the process.
Rich,
Interesting example! Kind of a sad commentary on the politicians but even sadder, not surprising.
I’m glad the believers present showed grace! The perfect application of today’s “Application.” 🙂
How is listening a sign of grace?
It is impossible to listen without using discernment, or passing some type of judgement. The wisdom of the Holy Spirit is discerning, the nature of people is to be judgmental. And I don’t mean that negatively, just being able to offer encouragement or advice means one must measure the words being given to them. Listening with discernment, and without judgment is grace. Discernment comes from the Holy Spirit to one who humbles themselves before God, and gives the grace that they themselves have received.
James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
As people speak, it is hard to let go of oneself and listen to understand first. Our desire to help or “fix” a situation overrides our ability to fully understand what the other person needs. Then it becomes about ourselves and not helping the other person. Also, there is a tendency to sometimes tell people that they are doing “it” wrong. Sometimes people just need to “think out loud” and it will become evident to them. Sometimes they need encouragement to continue to, or to start to, seek the Lord. The fact that they are vocalizing their inner thoughts is a sign that they are seeking the encouragement, wisdom, peace and love that the Lord offers.
Proverbs 18:13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
I have found that, in my walk with the Lord, sometimes intrusive thoughts enter my mind, and in my heart it is something that I want to do at that moment. It is sometimes difficult to admit that to God. I can say to myself, “I shouldn’t want that” and “I can’t do that” and I may prevent myself from carrying the thought out. That doesn’t give me the peace of God. To be able to say to God, “I want that, but I know it is sinful, and I do not want to harbor that in my heart” is a freedom in grace that washes it out of me. That freedom comes in the grace of God listening to my prayer and forgiving me. He doesn’t come back later and tell me that I am “on notice” or “He has some concerns about me based on what I have said.” His Spirit encourages me to be open and honest with Him. Grace gives hope, and Him listening to my thoughts and desires, and strengthening me brings hope to life.
Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.
To be able to offer that same type of listening can only come through the grace that God gives to us.
Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.
Thank you, Chris!
I appreciate the way you tied ‘listening’ and ‘judging’ together. If we are not careful and watchful of our thoughts, that can set us up for heading down the wrong path.