…and treat them with respect …
Today’s topic is Part Two of Peter’s instruction to husbands. He started with what the NIV translates as “be considerate.” As Rich pointed out yesterday, the word “considerate” was translated from the Greek, “gnōsis.” This word is most often translated as “knowledge” or “knowing.” Peter intends that men should be mindful of how women are different.
Today we look at the second part of this passage, “… and treat them [your wives] with respect.” The first question that comes to mind is, “Why wouldn’t a husband treat his wife with respect?” Peter continues the passage referring to wives as “the weaker partner.” So let’s look at the question in the context of physical size.
(Full disclosure: Size doesn’t always equate with strength. When I was a teen my aunt was very proud of the fact that she could arm wrestle me to a draw!)
People who are larger than average sometimes use their size as leverage for getting their way. People who are smaller than average might, as a practical matter, make way for larger people just to avoid conflict. Since men tend to be physically larger than women, it makes sense that men tend to dominate physically.
The danger for larger people is that they might confuse deference for respect. If they already think that they have the respect they want, why bother worrying about respecting others? Only when there is a conflict, and the smaller person does not defer, do they feel challenged. If they see this as getting less respect, they might feel like they are being insulted or demeaned.
It helps to understand what respect is. Respect is not someone getting out of the way so they don’t get stepped on. That is called self-preservation. Respect is valuing a person. Respect is being attentive to their opinions, thoughts, and desires. Respect is caring.
What is ironic about today’s passage is that Peter goes on to say, “and treat them [your wives] with respect.” Why is this ironic? Well, what is the one thing that men want most? Answer: Respect. If men don’t feel respected, they are going to feel hurt and insulted.
So why does Peter tell husbands to treat their wives with respect? Could it have to do with the Law of Reciprocity? Jesus explains the principle when he says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
If it is true that men hunger for respect (and in my experience, this is very true), then Peter has just told us men what we need to do to get what we want.
Application: Find a new way to show respect to someone close to you.
Food for Thought: Does God treat us with respect? What does that look like?
Thank you Jeff for spending the time to help encourage everyone you can and helping me grow spiritually with your blog.
Tim,
You are very welcome. Actually, I am thankful, too. I am thankful that Jesus cared enough to allow me to survive my youth so I could write this, and I am thankful for readers. I love having people to discuss God’s Word with! 🙂
Does God treat us with respect? If we go with your definition of respect being caring, I think the cross showed great respect for people created in God’s image.
Sometimes people will use Acts 10: 34 to say that God is no respecter of persons. But that passage deals with the fact that God does not show favoritism. That every person must depend on the work of the cross through faith in Christ.
But certainly the incarnation and the rescue of the cross show great respect to the human race as God place’s tremendous value on human life. I just wish I/we showed as much value to human life. By not valuing human life we not only disrespect people, but we disrespect God because people are created in His image.
I don’t think the issue is as much if God respects us, but if we respect God. He values us, do we value Him by valuing each other?
Rich,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts today! I appreciate your point about wanting people to respect human life as much as God does. That puts the discussion in a very stark light.
Does God treat us with respect? What does that look like?
God Himself cloaked His Glory, put on skin and lived among men for 33 years so we could clearly see and understand His instructions, His will for all mankind as revealed in the Old Testament.
He chose to leave this earth by giving His life for our sins and allowing each to individually choose whether they accept or reject His gift of freedom from all sin, and eternal life in His Kingdom now.
God has given all mankind freewill, the freedom to choose. He respects the choice of each individual regarding accepting or rejecting salvation through Jesus Christ. God has given His word, each will receive what they have chosen.
Romans 8:1-2, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Luke 14:11, For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Psalm 138:6, Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.
James 4:6, But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
Ron,
Your approach is very interesting! God became man to save man. What is the model in that for us? Instead of trying to make others over in our image (our politics, our values, our way of talking) could we appear as one who accepts the other? Could our first order of business be to be in relationship? Perhaps then we could walk together, hand in hand towards the light of God…
I agree with the above comments because respect does equal the cross R = t,..what a radical formula
John,
A mathematical approach!! I like it. 🙂
👍🏻