Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
Summary: Words can hurt people just as much as beating someone with a stick can hurt. Denying that they hurt does not lead to understanding. Instead, it leads to denial. Wisdom suggests an alternative: Understand what is going on and use discretion to avoid causing pain to others and yourself.
As a child, I was taught the adage, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Technically, this is true, but in practice, the saying lacks truth. Words can be hurtful.
The “sticks and stones” saying was intended as a salve to put on hurt feelings after they had happened. It is a way of saying, “They are just words. You are not really hurt. Buck up.” True enough in the sense that there is no blood or broken bones to point to. But emotionally damage is real. Telling yourself that the hurt does not hurt simply pushes it down inside. Eventually, years later, a person finds themselves in counseling trying to figure out why they have emotional problems.
Wisdom avoids the hurt by avoiding the hurtful situation.
In verse seven, Solomon tells us that God “is a shield.” Today, he hints and how God shields us.
The power of discretion is knowing what not to say or do. How many of us think that everyone wants to know our thoughts? How many people hear the words “Don’t tell anyone” and suddenly get the urge to share this new secret with someone else?
Discretion is understanding that some things are better left unsaid.
Solomon continues with the statement that “understanding will guard you.” Understanding is the foundation that discretion is built on.
Not that having discretion means we never share our thoughts with others. It simply means that there is a time and a place for everything. Discretion is understanding what kind of time and place we are in.
The urge to tell what we know or “blurt out” what is on our mind is strong. Who does not like being the center of attention? We enjoy having others listen to our stories. The difficulty is that as we share our thoughts and our stories, we put our ego out for all to see. All it takes is one jealous or cantankerous soul to make a cutting remark. Looking around, we see all eyes staring at us, and in a flash, we have changed. No longer are we “sharing” a story. Instead, we are on the defense and everyone is watching to see what we will do.
Public ridicule is a vicious and powerful weapon. Satan wields it well and the unsuspecting are easy marks. However, given advanced warning, we can be on guard.
Understanding is knowing beforehand how this process works. We understand that there is a link between what we say and how people act, or, technically speaking, how people re-act. Understanding this, we can decide beforehand if we want to risk hurting someone.
Application: Guard your heart and thoughts as much as what you say and do.
Food for Thought: What is required to gain understanding?
What is required to gain understanding? I meet people sometimes that have knowledge but not understanding. They know how to “push the right buttons in the right order” but don’t understand how it all works. I would have to say looking back at the past 40 years , I have retained a lot of knowledge about God’s Word, but really in the past year has my understanding of God’s Word grown by leaps and bounds. The difference has been my desire to grow closer to God, to read and contemplate His Word, I can see the timelessness of the entire Bible verses reading a chronological book.
Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Psalm 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.
Proverbs 17:27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Chris,
You bring to mind Prov 3:5 —
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”
It sounds like you are learning to trust God with your heart.
When I first read “What is required to gain understanding,” the first thought that came to mind was a willingness to listen and ask questions while being slow to speak and having patience when it involves trying to understand what another person is saying. After all, Proverbs 29:11 says: “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” However, as I thought about this more, I realized this approach is true when it comes to going to Him as well for guidance or understanding about situations we are going through or tribulations we are faced with.
We turn to the bible to seek wisdom and direction and this is a great place to start (in addition to adding prayer) for literally everything, However, all too often we are in a hurry to receive an answer or to “fix” whatever the situation is and we miss the time and process it takes to gain the understanding He (or the other person) is trying to show us or wants us to understand. We miss the forest for the trees so to speak.
The bible truly is our instruction manual for life, including the offering of insight as to what it takes to gain understanding.
Proverbs 9:10 says: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 3:3 says: “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding” and Proverbs 4:5 says: “Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them.”
Darla,
I completely agree — the Bible is our “instruction manual” for life. I wish I had understood that when I was a younger man.
I appreciate your insight about wanting to “fix things.” My sense is that we want to “fix” things according to our way of looking at things. God’s way of looking at things is very different. The real “fix” is often very different than what we want.
For example, when God first sent Moses to Pharaoh, Pharaoh’s reaction was to make the Israelites work harder. (Get your own straw!) The Israelites were mad at Moses and wanted to “fix” things by going back to the way things were. God’s plan was better. The real “fix” was to free the Israelites from Pharaoh all together.
I like how Chris and Darla used the Proverbs and Psalms to answer your question. Well done. I would add Proverbs 2: 1 – 5. Much peace to you all.
Good morning, Rich.
Thank you! I especially like verse 2:
“ …applying your heart to understanding …“
Great Comments today!!!
02-02-2022, Proverbs 2:11, What is required to gain understanding?
Human understanding is measured by the amounts of worldly knowledge or qualifications a person accumulates during their life. Spiritual understanding is believing, putting our faith in what we know, and understanding reality according to God’s view. In the time of Jesus, the religious leaders had mens head knowledge of God’s word and were considered wise by others, and condemned by Jesus.
The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God and actually considers them foolishness. They cannot understand them because these truths are understood only through the revelation of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit knows the thoughts of God and will teach, guide and lead each believer as required to grow in Christ and minister to others.
Proverbs 3:5, John 16:13, 1 Corinthians 2:14, 2:11
The word of God tells us, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on our own understanding. Gods truths are retained in our hearts not our heads. The knowledge of the Holy One is understanding and spiritual insight placed in softened hearts as we receive and live in Christ. Proverbs 2:2, Proverbs 9:10, Psalm 119:34, Matthew 13:15
Ron,
You make a great point. We can measure human “understanding” with tests. SAT tests and IQ tests are common. There are many others.
Spiritual understanding is something between us as individuals and God. There is no measurement for that. It is more like watching a tree grow. Spiritual understand grows as a person matures in their faith. Jesus stands tall above all of history because his spiritual understanding was complete and perfect. As we grow in understanding, we become like little trees next to his. 🙂
🌲 🌲 🌲
All great comments