Now the overseer is to be … faithful to his wife…
Summary: As Paul begins to outline the qualities of an overseer, the first one he turns to is the marriage relationship in a man’s life.
This passage is an excellent example of how the Bible defines itself.
So far, Paul has told us that being an overseer is a noble calling and that an overseer must be “above reproach.” Now he begins to tell us what “above reproach” means.
The very first thing the Bible points to as defining what it means to be “above reproach” is that a man is faithful to his wife.
Why is this the first thing that comes to God’s mind?
Before we answer that question, let’s remember who God is. He knows everything (1 John 3:20)! Not only does God know everything we say and do, he knows what goes through our hearts and minds as well (Jeremiah 17:10).
If God knows what we are thinking and what is in our hearts, what do you suppose he sees?
Uh huh.
That is why God put “You shall not commit adultery” right in the owner’s manual (Deuteronomy 5:18). As if one commandment wasn’t enough, he included it in the tenth commandment as well as the seventh: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” (Deuteronomy 5:21)
It appears that God has seen enough of man’s proclivities when it comes to being unfaithful to make sure we know it is something we shouldn’t do. But why does God care? Why does it matter if a man is faithful or not in his marriage?
If we turn back to the first book in the Bible, Genesis, God gives us some clues.
First, we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). God is faithful (Deuteronomy 7:9). To bear his image and act in ways that are unfaithful is to bring disgrace on our Creator. Second, he made man and woman to join in marriage and become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Satan is the great deceiver, and goes to great lengths to convince us that we are self-reliant and can make decisions and take actions without concern for others. The reality is quite different.
Men and women each have strengths that the other does not have. We need each other. When we give our hearts to one another, bonds form that are beyond human understanding. If we honor God and remain faithful in marriage, those bonds grow and strengthen in good ways. Unfaithfulness breaks those bonds, causes immeasurable hurt, and separates what God has put together.
Whether an overseer or not, a man who remains faithful to his wife pleases God. When it comes to deciding if a man is qualified to be an overseer, faithfulness is a sign that God’s Spirit is strong in them (Galatians 5:22-23).
Application: Stay faithful.
Food for Thought: How does unfaithfulness in an overseer impact the people they oversee?
How does unfaithfulness in an overseer impact the people they oversee?
When I think of how unfaithfulness in an overseer impact the people they oversee I think about two main concepts from the Bible: being double-minded and how faithlessness infects all areas of ones life.
If one is a spiritual leader (overseer) and is unfaithful, they are really living in doubt that God will act against their unfaithfulness as a leader. That they can somehow be a good leader and unfaithful, and that “God will take the average of the two.” They are operating on the premise that they can both call on the Lord and live in sin; this is being double-minded. If they are double-minded, they will become unstable and confusing to the people that they are leading. This is because the unfaithfulness and doubt will infect all areas of their life and their effectiveness as a leader. This may cause people to fall away or emulate the behavior of the leader. They will be ineffective for Christ, having unrepented sin in their life. They will lead their flock to doubt, mistrust, and anger even if the unfaithfulness is not discovered outright.
James 1:6-8
But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
James 1:22
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
James 4:3
You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
Luke 16:10 One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.
Thank you, Chris!
I like how you tie unfaithfulness to being “double minded.” It really is a slap in the face to God to presume we can pull the wool over his eyes.
How does unfaithfulness in an overseer impact the people they oversee?
The ungodly example of the overseer becomes the standard of conduct for the people they oversee.
All those who consider being unfaithful to God as acceptable, are turning their backs on God, and their ungodly acts are only limited to the standards held as acceptable to themselves.
Matthew 15:19, For out of the heart proceed wicked thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, perjury, impiety of speech.
All believers are called to live by the power of God, according to His standards.
Matthew 6:33, But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
Thank you, Ron!
Well said! I like that you point out we all need to live by the power of God. So true!
How does unfaithfulness in an overseer impact the people they oversee?
Lead by example, how can someone be followed if they can’t be trusted. How can there be trust without faith?
Tim,
Good questions! Faithfulness is critical, isn’t it?